Two Assassins
by ChiefD3m0n1c
Summary: Hey! Deadpool here. What happens when I, the merc with a mouth, start taking jobs on Pandora? I'll tell you what! Awesomeness! Trust me, this is going to be awesome! Rated M because it just wouldn't be me if it wasn't M rated for swearing, drinking, and very VERY suggestive themes. Go ahead and read it!
1. Chapter 1

Heyo! This was a random thought I had while playing Deadpool's game. What if the famous merc with a mouth came to Pandora? And what craziness would occur? Here is my answer (And I will argue with Deadpool every once in a while, since he is self-aware). Presenting….

Two Assassins!

Chapter 1: The Merc with a Mouth

The famous mercenary, Deadpool, sat in an office that overlooked the Hyperion city of Opportunity. "Hey narrator!" Deadpool shouted.

What...

"Can I tell the story?"

Fine

"Because you are really boring me."

I said fine! I'm arguing with myself

"Have fun at the psyche ward!"

Deadpool turns and looks into the camera. "Hey there readers of this chump's work! I am Deadpool! Aka Wade Wilson, aka the merc with a mouth, and to the ladies… Love muffin. Anyway, I'm here because some guy… what was his name?" Starts pulling out papers and other trash from his pocket. He mumbles "Let's see here…. Blake? Whatever, he called me up saying he needed some people dead and heard I was the best!" Deadpool stands on the chair in a celebratory pose. "Stop narrating everything I do!" He barks.

It's my job, deal with it

"Shut the f# K up! Wait… was I just censored?"

Keep up with your shit and I'll do it again

"You win this round narrator."

Deadpool sits back in the chair with his arms crossed like a child. "Unnecessary." He grumbled. The elevator dung and Blake walked out. He took a seat behind the desk and cleared his throat. "Mr. Wilson…" He started.

"Please, call me Deadpool."

"Very well, Mr. Deadpool, have you read over the contract we sent you?"

"I did indeed. Here is my rebuttal to it, wrote it myself!"

Deadpool hands Blake a revised contract. "Is this crayon?" Blake questioned.

"It is indeed."

"No matter, these terms are, odd. Along with the five million bounty for each target, you also want full compensation of any ammo you purchase, a case of…does this say chimichangas? No matter, for each target, and a night with as many women of your choice. These are odd terms, but we at Hyperion will accept your terms."

Blake stood up and extended his hand. Deadpool slapped it and tried to do a fancy hand shake combo. "Yes," Blake cleared his throat "I am glad to see someone will avenge the death of our great leader, Handsome Jack." Deadpool shrugged and sighed "Sure, whatever. Do you have any idea where my first target is?"

"The psycho, Krieg, was spotted out at Lynchwood on too long ago. He may still be there."

"Excellent! I'm off to… Lynchwood? Where is that?"

"Got to the fast-travel station. Click the screen that says travel and click on Lynchwood. It will take you there."

"Wow, and I thought my technology was good."

He shrugged and walked out of the office. "This is going to be awesome!" Deadpool cheered as he went to the station. "This is!" Crazy voice agreed. "I actually think this was a good idea." Sane voice added. "Everything is turning up Deadpool!" He cheered.

He went to the station and scratched his head. "How do I use this thing again?" He muttered. "Click on travel." Sane reminded.

"Okay… then what?"

"Now click on Lynchwood."

He did so and was thrown into a vortex. "Holy s# t! What's going on!" Deadpool shouted as he fast travelled. He dropped to the ground and laid there for a second. "What the hell was that?" He panted.

Fast travel. A common way of travelling across Pandora

"That was trippy. It was like fighting Vertigo again."

Shut up and get back to the story

Deadpool shot up and stretched. "Right! My first target!" He walked along the path and stepped outside. The whole town looked like it was built out of trash. "My apartment looks better than this." He grumbled. "I think the apartment is worse." Sane disagreed.

"Home is where the heart is." Crazy added. "No matter!" Deadpool shouted. "Let's find Krieg and get paid!" Deadpool to a few steps and heard someone bellow "I powder my cockatiel for the ribcage slaughter!" Deadpool looked down the street to see a huge guy beating the crap out of others.

The guy stood almost as tall as Cable and was shirtless. He wore pants and boot that were covered in blood. He was swinging a saw blade tied to a stick. "I'm guessing he is Krieg." Deadpool muttered. "Let's go ask!" Crazy suggested.

"I feel like that is a very bad idea." Sane announced. Deadpool jumped down to the street and walked up to the guy. "Excuse me." Deadpool said. The man spun around and roared "WHAT!"

"I'm looking for someone…"

"WHO DO YOU SEEK RED MAN!"

"Okay, 1) you need a breath mint. And 2) I'm looking for a guy named Krieg."

"I AM THAT WHICH YOU SEEK!"

"Excellent!"

Deadpool pulled out a nine mil and placed it on Krieg's forehead. "This is going to be easier than I thought." Deadpool laughed. He pulled the trigger, but Krieg's head didn't explode. "What the?" He grumbled as Krieg swung his buzz saw. Deadpool flew across the train tracks and slammed into the wall.

"Did you forget most people on this planet have shields around them?" Sane advised. "We should shoot him some more!" Crazy suggested. Deadpool got up and pulled out his other pistol. Krieg jumped towards him, but Deadpool rolled out of the way. Pumping every round in the mag into Krieg, Deadpool tried to get some space in between them.

Krieg charged again with his buzz saw raised. He ran out of ammo and threw his pistols at Krieg. He stopped and looked at the pistols at his feet. "Damn it." Deadpool groaned. "I didn't mean to do that." Deadpool walked over and picked the pistols up.

"I'll just take these." He sighed as he put them back. "WHY DIDN'T THEY EXPLODE!" Krieg shouted.

"Explode? What do you mean explode?"

"LIKE THIS!"

Krieg pulled out a pistol and popped a few rounds into the air. He then threw the pistol at Deadpool, and it promptly exploded. Deadpool was thrown back and laughed "That's awesome!" He crashed and shot back up. Krieg charged him again.

Deadpool drew his swords and charged as well. They clashed and swung. "This guy is really strong!" Deadpool cursed. "What did you expect for a five million dollar bounty?" Sane pointed out.

"I don't need your sass right now!"

Krieg barked "I SAID NOTHING RED MAN!" Deadpool snapped "Not you! The sane voice."

"YOU HEAR VOICES TOO!?"

"Yeah, wait, you hear voices?"

"YES! IT'S MY SANITY! IT TELLS ME IF I'M DOING GOOD OR NOT!"

"Looks like you and I are not so different."

"This is a strange turn of events." Sane commented. "We should become friends!" Crazy suggested. Deadpool sheathed his swords and held out his hand in friendship. Krieg walked up to him while putting his buzz saw away. Krieg stopped and grabbed his hand.

Deadpool noticed a beeping sound and Krieg threw him onto the tracks. Deadpool hit the ground, then was immediately ran over by the train. "BYE BYE RED MAN!" He heard Krieg shout. When the train stopped, Deadpool stood up and growled "What an asshole." He jumped back onto the street and saw Krieg walking to the entrance.

"Hey!" Deadpool shouted. "Jackass!" Krieg turned around and yelled "YOU SHOULD BE TINY BITS!"

"Yeah, the thing is… I can't die."

"I WILL PROVE YOU WRONG!"

Krieg charged again with his buzz saw raised. Deadpool pulled out his SMGs and growled "No more mister nice assassin." He unloaded into Krieg until something around him shattered. "I think you broke his shield!" Crazy pointed out. "Quick! Before his shield regenerates!" Sane ordered.

Deadpool swapped out SMGs for his reloaded pistols and started shooting Krieg. Krieg stopped and began to grow. "What's he doing?" Deadpool gasped. Krieg grew twice his size and his left arm shrunk. The right arm grew huge and he bellowed "I'M GOING TO PUT MY PAIN INTO YOUR SOUL!"

"Fuck that!"

Deadpool turned and bolted. He could hear Krieg's massive footsteps charging. "What the hell!" Deadpool shouted. "I didn't sign up for this!" He ran up a set of stairs and looked to see where Krieg was. Krieg jumped and landed right next to him.

Deadpool ran even faster when the psycho raised his buzz saw. He pulled out his pistols and started shooting behind him. "YOUR PEBBLES DO NOTHING TO MY MOUNTAIN!" Krieg roared. Deadpool turned a corner and ran up a conveyer belt leading up a ledge. "And I thought I was crazy! This guy is out of his fucking mind!" He thought.

He reached the top and started dropping grenades down the belt. One struck Krieg in the chest and sending him falling down the belt. "At least I'm good for now." He sighed. He turned and walked straight into the barrel of a pistol. "I wouldn't be so sure." A female voice announced.

He looked her over and was pretty impressed. She had short blue hair and wore a yellow top. Her pants were black and she had some crazy tattoos on her left arm. Her boobs were a little small for his taste, but she was still pretty sexy. "Hello there beautiful." He thought out loud.

She scowled and kicked him down the belt. He rolled down shouting "BITCH!" When he stopped rolling, he was looking up at Krieg. "NIGHTY NIGHT!" He hollered as he raised his boot. He stomped on Deadpool's head and knocked him out.

There you have it! My first chapter of Two Assassins! Let me know what you all think and I'll probably write another chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

Heyo (my catchphrase if you haven't noticed yet)! Got some good feedback on the crossover. You know what this mean… NEW CHAPTER!

Chapter 2: The assassins meet

Deadpool woke up tied to a chair in a dark room, the only light coming from the fixture above his head. "Real original narrator." Deadpool groaned.

Shut up and go with it

"What's next? Are people going to show up an interrogate me?"

I said shut up!

"Whatever. I better get some awesome moments in this rag."

Either shut it or I'm going to make you shut it!

"You're losing it you know. You are sitting here, yelling at a computer screen."

I hate you

He heard a door open and shut. "Is the torture going to begin?" Deadpool sighed. "Only if you talk, cabrone." A voice responded. A short guy walked out of the darkness. He stood as tall as the chair Deadpool was tied to.

He had spikey blue hair and beard to match. He looked like he was doing steroids since his muscles were huge. "Do you want to do this the easy way?" The midget asked. "Or the hard way?" Deadpool snickered and then busted out laughing. "This is some kind of joke right?" Deadpool laughed. "OH MY GOD! This is hysterical! AH HAHAHAHAHAHA! Shouldn't you be working at a chocolate factory somewhere?"

"I think he's serious." Sane pointed out. Deadpool stopped laughing to see Sane was right. The dwarf had a serious look on his face. "Oh, right." Deadpool replied. "Yeah, I'm not talking."

"Suit yourself."

The dwarf walked out, leaving Deadpool alone. "Where am I exactly?" He wondered out loud. "Am I in space? Or maybe K-mart…. Pretty sure I'm in space…. Or K-mart." He shuffled in the chair and yelled "Are we in space?" More lights came on to reveal him to be in a small square room. There was a door and a one-way glass window.

"I'm not f#$king stupid!" He shouted. "I know you can see me!" The door opened and a woman walked in. She was the same height as the one in Lynchwood. She had short red hair and wore clothes that looked like she was attacked by an animal. She was showing a decent amount of cleavage, which he thought was pretty good.

"This is going to be your last chance." She warned. "You can talk to me, or deal with the little guy who was really angry at you for laughing at him." Deadpool had his eyes locked on her boobs. "Maybe if you cooperate with me," She tempted. She put her hands on his shoulders and leaned closer. "You might get to see a little more."

"What do you want to know?"

o00000O00000o

Zer0 walked from Marcus' gun shop. He was seeing if there were any good guns on sale, there weren't. He saw Axton and Krieg talking by the Black Market. "What news do you have?" Zer0 haikued. "I have become very bored/ what is there to do?" Axton answered "We caught so assassin trying to kill Krieg. Bastard never knew what he was up against."

Krieg bellowed "RED MAN IS CRAZY! HE HEARS THE VOICES!" A"?" appeared on Zer0's helmet. "Red man?" He thought. "Hears voices? Please don't be him." Zer0 responded "Where is the man now? / perhaps I can find something /let me at this guy." Axton shrugged and responded "Sure. He's at the HQ interrogation room."

Zer0 nodded and went straight for the HQ. "Please don't be him." He pleaded in his head. The interrogation room was on the second floor. Zer0 ran up to see Maya by the window with her hand over her eyes. Lilith walked out, adjusting her shirt.

"I can't believe you did that." Maya sighed. "What?" Lilith laughed. "He talked when the girls came out, so there isn't a problem." Zer0 groaned in his head "Yep. It's Wade alright." Zer0 walked past Maya and Lilith and went straight for the door. He cracked the door open, pulled the pin on his Bonus Package grenade and tossed it in.

He watched Maya and Lilith freak out as the grenade rolled in front of Wade. "What the hell?" He managed to get out before the grenade went off. Blood covered the window and the girls screamed. "What the hell Zer0!" Maya barked. "Yeah! Who knows what else he would have told us!" Lilith chimed in.

"You need to relax." Zer0 responded. "Wade is perfectly okay / he has been through worse." When Zer0 finished, a hand cleared a spot of blood and Deadpool looked in. "What the hell was that for?" He cried. "I would have kept talking if the pretty lady came back!" Maya and Lilith were speechless. Zer0 opened the door and walked in.

"Zer0!" Deadpool cheered. Zer0 pulled out his revolver and shot him in the head. The girls screamed again. They ran in to see Deadpool standing back up. "I forget." He groaned. "What was that for?"

"Remember Tactron? / You left me there for the cops / while you got away."

"Oh yeah."

Maya was the first to speak up "What the hell is going on?" Deadpool answered "Well, me and Zer0 here go way back. We used to work for Boss Lady together. Until we went our separate ways. We've had our run in's and bad moments."

Lilith questioned "But the grenade… the blood?"

"Yeah. I can't die. I regenerate as you've seen from the grenade and Zer0."

Zer0 shot him again and "LOL" popped on to his helmet. Deadpool got back up and sighed "What was that for?" Zer0 responded "That was just for fun."

"I don't think it was very funny."

Deadpool rubbed his forehead where Zer0 shot him. Maya and Lilith had shocked looks on their faces. "What brings you here Wade?" Zer0 questioned. "Who is the target you seek? / What will you be paid?"

"I've been hired to kill Krieg and for 5 mil. Plus some other stuff, but its more for me. Then there are others after I finish this one."

"Who hired you Wade?"

"Some guy from Hyperion, Blake, I think his name was."

Zer0 brought a hand to his blade. "Easy there Zer0." Deadpool urged. "I'm not here to kill you."

"True, but for how long? / I'm probably a target / Along with these two."

Deadpool had a worried look on his face. "I don't want to kill you, you're my friend. And I definitely don't want to kill pretty lady." He looked at Lilith who had an amused smile on her face. Maya suggested "Why don't we keep him downstairs. He won't be able to kill anyone if he's locked up."

"That's a great idea! Lock me up and throw away the key!"

"Good to see you haven't changed Wade."

Maya and Lilith took Deadpool downstairs and locked him in Roland's old armory. Zer0 went back to his home and crabbed a case of beer. He was passing the bounty board when he ran into Maya. "Can I ask you something?" She questioned. "Sure." He responded.

"Do you really know this freak?"

"Yes, I do know him / He has saved my ass a lot / And I've saved his more."

"And you're sure he won't cause any trouble?"

"I can't guarantee/ He is unpredictable/ I don't think he will."

"Okay. What's with the beer?"

"A drink with a friend/ Catch up on what we have missed/ Just normal friend things."

"Neither of you are exactly normal."

They both laughed at her joke. "I'll catch you later." She sighed as she went to Moxxi's. He went into the HQ and pulled up a chair to the cell. "You brought beer!" Deadpool cheered. "Yep. Catch." Zer0 responded as he tossed a beer at him.

He cracked the beer open and took a swig. "Still with the haiku s #t? Stop censoring me!" Deadpool shouted in the air. "Yeah, and you're still yelling at nothing." Zer0 chuckled.

"Only because you haven't realized what you are yet."

"Yep. You haven't changed a bit."

"Neither have you, old friend. So what have you been up to?"

They sat, talked, and drank for a while. Zer0 could definitely feel a little buzzed. "Hey," Deadpool slurred. "Hey, can I ask you somethin'?" Zer0 shrugged.

"Which a these fine ass ladies you tappin'?"

Zer0 laughed "None. I'm not like you, Wade. I don't want to sleep with every girl I meet."

"Aww, come on man! There has to be one at least."

"Nope."

"You even got your eye on one?"

Zer0 crushed his empty can and tossed it into the empty beer case. "You do." Deadpool urged.

"Shut up."

"You do! I knew it! I knew ol' Zer0 couldn't resist the ladies! Which one?"

"None."

"You can lie all you want! I can tell! Ha, hand me another beer?"

"We're out. Damn, I could use another one."

They both looked up and thought about what to do. "Let's make a beer run!" Deadpool suggested. "I don't know man." Zer0 groaned. "I'm not feeling like getting up."

"Come on man! Isn't there a bar here? We could hit it up!"

"Yeah! That's a great idea!"

Zer0 stood up and wavered a little bit. "Yer wobblin' man." Deadpool pointed out. "I know." Zer0 groaned. "I don't know if I can make it to the bar."

"I got another idea! Let me out, and we can support each other to the bar!"

"You are on fire tonight! Gimme a sec."

He stumbled over to the key pad and punched in the code. The door opened and Deadpool staggered out. "Party time!" He shouted. Zer0 joined in "Party time!"


	3. Chapter 3

Dang! You people love the Deadpool on Pandora deal. I've gotten so many good responses (and a death threat if I stop) about it! Here you all go!

Chapter 3: Party Night!

And the morning after

Zer0 let Deadpool out of his cell. Deadpool stumbled out and cheered "Party time!" Zer0 laughed and cheered "Party time!" Both of them looked at each other and cheered in unison "Party time!" Zer0 laughed and proclaimed "Let's get moving."

Deadpool stopped him and asked "You wanna go out like that?" Zer0 looked at his suit and back at Deadpool. "What's wrong with this?"

"You ain't gonna get any ladies looking like that."

"Again with this shit?"

"What! You gonna let him curse but I can't? Its bulls$#t!"

Zer0 laughed at Deadpool's outburst. "Alright," He sighed. "Let's hit my place first." Deadpool cheered as he stumbled out the door. Zer0 laughed and stumbled after him.

o000000O00000o

Maya sat outside Moxxi's smoking a cigarette. She didn't usually smoke but today was an insane day. First she went with Krieg on a mission and that made her uncomfortable since he was always staring at her. Then that psycho Deadpool shows up, hitting on her more than a baseball player does a ball. Then figures out he can't die.

Maya laughed at the thought. It was pretty funny when Zer0 shot him in the head, twice. She took a drag and thought about Zer0. He was on the same level as Captain Crazy. They worked together, hell, Zer0 knew Deadpool's real name, Wade.

"I wonder if he knows Zer0's name?" She wondered out loud. "Who knows Zer0's real name?" She heard Lilith ask. She turned to see Lilith walk out of the bar. "I didn't know you smoked." She stated.

"I usually don't, but today was pretty crazy."

"Tell me about it. Mind if I have one?"

Maya gave Lilith a smoke and lit it for her. Lilith took a drag and asked "So what do you think about our new friend?" Maya laughed "I think he's a joke."

"He is pretty nuts."

"I think he's more of a danger to himself. I still can't believe you flashed him."

"I was wondering how far I could go before he started giving me his personal information."

They both laughed at the joke. Maya sighed and asked "How much do you think Deadpool knows about Zer0?" Lilith laughed "Give me a little more time with him. I think I might be able to get something out of him." They both laughed again until music started blaring from inside the bar. They looked in to see Deadpool holding an empty bottle in the air.

"Hell yeah!" He shouted. "That's my mother f$%king jam!" Gaige ran over to him and started head banging to the beat of the dub step. Maya noticed a guy at the bar she didn't recognize. He was tall and skinny with short black hair that darkened compared to his pale skin. He had blue eyes and scars on his face.

One was a vertical scar going down his left eye and the other was a burn scar on his right cheek. Maya and Lilith ran in and confronted Deadpool. "This guy is awesome!" Gaige cheered. "Can we keep him?" Maya barked "He's an assassin! Not a pet!" Lilith asked the clearly drunken Deadpool "Who let you out of your cell?"

He basically leaned on her with his head almost resting on her boobs. "Hello again Lilith!" He slurred. "I haven't seen you in a while!"

"How much have you been drinking? You reek worse than this bar."

She took the bottle from him and looked at the label. It was vodka. "Damn," Lilith laughed. "Did you drink this by yourself?"

"Naw! That'd be ruuude. My main man herlped me!"

Maya looked at the man, who was pouring shots. "I am not a doctor!" He drunkenly shouted. "But I believe it is time for our shots!" Deadpool cheered and took half the shots while the other guy took the rest. They both cheered as they finished their drinks. "You two are hammered!" Moxxi laughed as she took the glasses.

"Who let you out!" Maya yelled at Deadpool. "Why he did." Deadpool laughed. He was pointing at the guy at the bar. "Who the hell are you?" Maya asked. "I don't think she recognizes me." The guy slurred. Deadpool leaned on him and cried "That's a heart breaker."

"I know! After all we'd been through."

"It brings a tear to my eye."

"It really does."

"Wait…. That's right voices! Don't you normally wear a helmet?"

"Oh yeah."

They stared at each other and started laughing like it was the funniest thing on the planet. "Zer0!" Maya gasped. "The one and only!" He cheered and continued laughing. "She figured you out!" Deadpool laughed. They were both laughing their asses off.

"Dear god you're drunk." She groaned. "I am not drunk madam." Deadpool replied in a fancy voice. "I. Am. Hammered." Zer0 acted like he was holding a monocle and proclaimed "Indeed." They both started cracking up. Deadpool grabbed Lilith's hand and pulled her close.

"If I wasn't drunk!" He declared. "I wouldn't be able to do this!" He dipped her down and kissed her. He spun her to her feet and cheered. "I will drink to that!" Zer0 cheered as he grabbed two beers. He cracked them open and handed one to Deadpool.

He immediately downed his beer while Zer0 raised his in the air. Maya grabbed it and stated "You've had enough." Deadpool grabbed the beer from her and downed it. "You've had enough too." Lilith laughed. "Maya, grab Zer0 and get him home. I'll get Deadpool here back to his cell." Maya sighed and ordered "Let's go Zer0."

He groaned "Fiiiine." He got out of the chair and almost immediately fell. Maya caught him and growled "Drunken moron." Lilith supported Deadpool and dragged him out the side door. "You wanna know something?" Zer0 whispered in her ear.

"What?"

"I think you're pretty."

"Yep. You ARE hammered."

She dragged him to his home. He lived next door to the same building where Daisy shot herself. She was lucky to find the door unlocked. It was a two story building, but Maya wasn't going to drag Zer0's drunk ass up stairs. She was going to drop him on the couch when he stumbled over to it himself.

"Thanks for the help home Maya." He slurred. He fell onto the couch with a thud. "I haven't had that much fun in a long time." He laughed. "I think you had too much fun." She laughed. This was a completely new side of Zer0.

Normally he was quiet, reserved and tactful. Now she was looking at a boisterous, drunk Zer0 who could barely walk. She laughed at the sight of him. "Can you come here for a second?" Zer0 asked as he stood up. She walked over to him and he wrapped her in a hug.

"What are you doing?" Maya questioned. He let her go and kissed her. Maya took a step back and slapped him. "My bad." Zer0 laughed as he rubbed his cheek. "Yeah." She growled. "Your bad."

She stormed out and lit another cigarette. "What the hell was that?" She grumbled as she headed home. "That drunken idiot is lucky all I did was slap him." She lived next door to the HQ and finished her cigarette. "Probably just the booze's work there." She sighed. "He would probably never go for me when he's sober." She sighed and went to bed.

o00000O00000o

Lilith dragged Deadpool back to the HQ. "Tonight was legend…" He started. He stood up straight and finished "Wait for it…dary!" He started laughing hysterically at his own joke. "You are wasted." Lilith laughed.

She almost got him back to the cell when he whined "I don't wanna go back in there!"

"Well where do you want to go?"

He wrapped her in a hug and whispered "How about your place?" She pushed him off and laughed "Easy there Big Boy. You were lucky to get the kiss, but that's all you're getting from me tonight." She turned and was about to walk upstairs when he wrapped her in another hug. "Don't be like that." He whispered in her ear. She was about to protest until he started kissing her neck.

"Oh what the hell." She sighed. She spun around and kissed him. He picked her up and carried her upstairs.

o00000O0000o

Zer0 woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. "What happened last night?" He groaned as he rubbed his temples. He sat up and smelled himself. "I smell like a bar." He groaned. He went upstairs and splashed water in his face.

"I can't believe I went out like this." He sighed. "I wonder how many people saw me." There was a knocking at his door. "They probably already saw me." He grumbled as answered the door. Maya shouted as soon as he opened the door "Good morning Zer0!" He grabbed his ears and whined "Was that really necessary?"

"Probably not, but it was funny."

"I'm glad you're having fun. What do you need?"

"Lilith called a meeting today."

"Fine, just give me a minute."

He walked upstairs and changed into his armor. He kept his helmet off to spare his headache and booze breath. He walked downstairs to find Maya waiting on him. "Do you know what happened to me last night?" He asked. Maya explained "From what I experienced, you let Deadpool out of his cage and hit up Moxxi's. Both of you got completely hammered and I had to drag you back here."

"Anything else happen?"

"Well, you said you thought I was pretty and then you kissed me."

Zer0 felt his face turn red. "Sorry about that." He apologized. She walked up to him and kissed him. "Don't be." She whispered as she walked away. He basically ran after her and put his arm around her.

They walked up to the second floor and found everyone waiting in them. Deadpool pulled out a megaphone and bellowed "How's the hangover!" Zer0 dropped his helmet and covered his ears. Zer0 stormed over to Deadpool and drove his sword through his forehead. Everyone freaked out when Zer0 pulled his sword out and Deadpool dropped.

"How's your headache?" Zer0 growled. Deadpool got back up and laughed. Everyone was still in shock except for Maya and Lilith. "He can't die." Lilith pointed out. "Anyway, I've gathered you all here for a very important message." Axton asked "And it is?"

"Hyperion has set contracts against us, but we are going to get them first."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Assassinations

Earlier that morning

Deadpool woke up in Lilith's bed with her resting on his chest. "Awesome night." He whispered to himself. He was able to slide out of the bed without waking her. He put his suit back on and went into the kitchen area. "That was amazing!" Crazy cheered.

"Indeed it was." Deadpool agreed. "I still can't believe you were able to get into her bed." Sane proclaimed.

"Ladies can't resist the Deadpool."

"Can't resist slapping you is more like it."

"I don't need your crap."

Deadpool started making breakfast. "I wonder if Lilith wants anything." He wondered. He shrugged and started making breakfast for two. "Well this is unusual." Sane stated.

"What's unusual, besides us?"

"You are making breakfast for a woman you just slept with."

"Yeah, and?"

"Normally you're gone before she is even awake."

Deadpool stopped and thought about what Sane was talking about. "You're right." He sighed. "This is unusual." Crazy pointed out. "Maybe Lilith is different." Deadpool continued to think about what his inner voices said. They were right, Lilith was different.

"I really don't need this right now, narrator."

Sorry, just doing my job.

"I know. Just not now."

Got it.

Deadpool finished making breakfast, pancakes and bacon with juice. He brought the food upstairs and a smile returned to his face when he saw Lilith. She was awake and stretching, but best of all, she was naked. "Good morning Lily." He beamed. "I made you breakfast!" She looked over at him and smiled.

He set the tray on her lap and sat on the floor with his elbows propping his head up on the bed. He just stared into her eyes as she ate. "You are so pretty." He sighed. "Why thank you." She responded.

"Last night was great."

"I really needed it."

Got up and sat on the bed next to her. He tried to put her arm around her but she stopped him. "Listen Deadpool," she started "I'm not looking to get into a relationship right now. My last one didn't exactly end on the best of terms." Deadpool was a little hurt at this but he sighed "It's okay. I get it."

"Don't get me wrong, you're a pretty cool guy and last night was great. It's me, really."

"No, no. I understand."

He got out of the bed and went for the door. As he was walking out, he thought about what he was going to do now. He definitely didn't want to fulfill the contracts he was given, since it meant killing his new friends and he didn't want to do that. But that would mean he had no reason to stay and leave Lilith. "What the hell did I just think?" He nearly shouted.

"You know exactly what you were thinking." Sane assured. "You don't need us to tell you what you're thinking." Crazy added. He was in love with Lilith.

"Dammit narrator."

You know its true man. You love her.

"I know. I just don't need you pointing out like that."

My job

"Whatever."

I shouldn't do this…

"What?"

Here's a trick for you to stay. Hyperion sent you to kill the Vault Hunters right?

"I'm not sure where you're going with this."

Turn the tables, take out Hyperion for the Raiders

"That's brilliant! How did you think of this?"

I'm reading the script, technically Lilith was supposed to think of it after you left the planet. I'm just skipping ahead a bit.

"That's awesome! Can you tell me anything else?"

Be happy I'm telling you this. I could get in serious trouble for that.

"Thanks man, sorry for giving you a hard time."

It's alright, go talk to Lilith already

Deadpool followed the advice and went upstairs. Lilith was in her underwear when he ran in. "Lily!" He cheered. "I just got some amazing advice!" She responded "What is it? And from who?"

"The who doesn't matter, but the advice does."

"And the advice was?"

"If Hyperion set contracts on you, why not get contracts on them?"

"Say again?"

"You hire me to kill Hyperion officials."

Lilith thought for a moment, then her face lit up. "That's brilliant!" She cheered. She got on the ECHO and called everyone to the HQ. "We have to tell everyone about this!" She exclaimed as she got dressed. She hugged him and left.

Present time

"Get them first?" Axton repeated. "Exactly." Lilith confirmed.

"And how do you think we will be able to do that?"

"We have two assassins in this room."

Zer0 waved when Axton looked at him and Deadpool did the same. "You really think that this could work?" Axton questioned. Zer0 stepped in "Wade had Hyperion clearance if he made it up to the acting director of Hyperion. We can get at least one assassination in before they catch on." Deadpool suggested "I think we should aim for Professor Dyson. He's the head of Hyperion weapon development." Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Wait." Gaige proclaimed. "Why not go for the Hyperion head themselves?"

"Because Handsome Jack is dead and he was easily replaced. They could just do it again."

"And the weapons developer? Couldn't they just replace him?"

Deadpool stopped and thought about that. "Unless we destroy the research as well." Zer0 added. Everyone looked over at him with a strange look. "If we kill Professor Dyson and destroy the research, like with a virus that corrupts the system, then replacing the Professor is not a real solution for them." He explained. "Why didn't I think of that?" Deadpool sighed.

Before Zer0 could make a smart remark, Deadpool shouted "That was rhetorical you two." Zer0 laughed while everyone looked at Deadpool like he lost his mind, which he had. Zer0 picked up his helmet and put it on. Deadpool stood up and announced "We're off. Be back soon." Maya questioned "Do you two know where you're heading?"

Deadpool pulled out his phone and called someone. "Hey buddy!" He cheered. "How are you?... Yeah, but I'm stuck… I know you shouldn't but it will alleviate a mess of headaches… okay… uh huh… got it. You the man!" Deadpool hung up and proclaimed "Out near Lynchwood is a bunker."

"Who did you call?"

"A friend who pretty much knows everything."

Zer0 sighed and walked out with Deadpool. "You ready to get back to the old grind?" Deadpool commented. "I sure as hell am." Zer0 exclaimed with excitement in his voice."

"Just like old times?"

"Like old times."

o00000O00000o

A single Hyperion soldier sat outside the bunker in the desert. He was bored out of his mind until he saw a technical driving towards them. "Be advised," He announced over the radio "I've got a vehicle approaching. Looks like two occupants." The man in coms responded "The two occupants are expected, let them in. It will be Corporal Taylor and the assassin Deadpool. They are here to pick up some weapons."

"Copy."

The technical stopped near the door and the two hopped out. Deadpool held up a clearance card and the Corporal showed his I.D. The guard let them pass and reassumed his post.

Deadpool and Zer0 in disguise decsended into the bunker. "I can't believe that worked." Deadpool whispered. "Me neither. I thought we would have to shoot our way in." Zer0 responded. Zer0 was actually amazed this plan was good so far. Deadpool was stepping his game up with this assassination.

"So why the sudden change of heart?" Zer0 had to ask. "I don't feel like killing my friends." Deadpool stated.

"Not what I mean."

"Then what?"

"You working for free? I know you Wade. You don't work for free."

"Who says I'm working for free?"

Zer0 didn't want to know what. The door opened to reveal a large hallway with a mess of offices. They were all empty except for the one at the far end. Deadpool took the lead while Zer0 followed him and looked at the different weapons in the offices. The walls were glass so he could see inside and check out the weapons.

He stopped and looked at one weapon. It looked like a sniper rifle, but much bigger. The finish was metallic steel color with the name "One Shot" carved into the side. Zer0 thought it was beautiful. "Beauty isn't she?" he heard a voice ask.

Zer0 looked to his right to see a man in a lab coat next to him. The man was at least forty with light brown hair combed back. He had a mustache and his skin was starting to wrinkle. His name tap read "Dyson". "Designed her myself." He bragged. "Fires a 50 caliber round with the trajectory precise enough to shoot a pea off a table from a mile away, and you won't hear a sound."

"Impressive." Zer0 gasped.

"Why are you so interested? You're just a soldier."

"Applying to become a sniper, sir."

Dyson shrugged and went back to his office where Deadpool was waiting. Zer0 remained standing while Dyson sat behind his desk. "What can I do you for today gentlemen?" Dyson asked. "I need a good, powerful weapon to take down the psycho Krieg." Deadpool answered.

"Are you looking for stealth?"

"I'm not one for stealth."

"Automatic?"

"The faster the better."

Dyson stood up and escorted them to an office with two weapons. They looked like small assault rifles with a steel color. "Meet the Dual Pythons." Dyson exclaimed. "Capable of firing one hundred rounds each in under two minutes without melting the barrels." Zer0 questioned "And who makes all of these?"

"I do. I'm very secretive of my work. Evrything I have is on my computer."

Deadpool proclaimed "All I needed to hear." Deadpool pulled out his pistol and shot Dyson in the head. "I'll get to work on the computer." Zer0 proclaimed as he went for Dyson's office. The computer was still open and Zer0 accessed the files. The weapons that were going to be developed were astounding.

Zer0 thought the E-tech weapons were good, but these blew them out of the water. He pulled out two flash drives and plugged them in. He moved the files to one and started uploading the virus. This wasn't his first contract like this. Deadpool's phone started ringing and he answered "Blake! How's it going? I'm just picking up some weapons to kill those Vault Hunters!"

The uploas was complete and Zer0 pulled out the flash draives. "I see." He stated in a more moderate tone. "I'd love to see them try." He hung up and sighed "We just lost our window to kill any other officials." Zer0 questioned "How did they know?"

"Apparently there are cameras all around here and they saw everything."

"Let's loot and boot then."

Zer0 went straight for the One Shot and picked it up while Deadpool picked up the Dual Pythons. As they were leaving, the soldier tried to stop them, but Deadpool just shot him in the face. They hopped in the technical and drove off.

o00000O0000o

Blake travelled in the elevator down to the meeting room. It had been a few days since the assassin Deadpool betrayed them. He made a call for more assassins to finish the job Mr. Deadpool failed at. When the doors opened, he had to gasp at what he saw. The room was covered in blood and bodies.

The assassins that responded to his call were all dead. Either stabbed or filled with bullet holes. There was only one person in the room still alive. He sat at the end of the table with his feet up and flipping a knife, catching it by the blade. "I don't need competition." He stated. "I don't work with others."

Blake gulped as he felt the chill run down his spine. "You either hire me," The assassin continued "or don't. But I wanted this job." Blake thought the man had the voice of death. "Congratulations sir." Blake managed to choke out. "You have gone through our selection process and we think you are the best candidate."

"I thought you would say that."

"May we have a name for you?"

"No names."

"Very well sir."

The man stood up, he was at least 7 feet tall. "Who's the first target?" He laughed as he sheathed his knife.

What! Who is this mystery assassin? Who will be the first contract? What will happen next? Will Deadpool continue arguing with me? The answer to the last one is yes. Read on and find out!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: New Assassin

Maya sat in the Crimson Raiders HQ, waiting for Zer0 and Deadpool to return from their assassination. She thought that the plan to assassinate Hyperion officials was crazy. "He's going to get Zer0 killed." Maya muttered under her breath. Lilith walked and asked "How's it going?"

"Fine, I guess."

"Worried?"

"A little."

Maya and Zer0 only recently started dating, but she always liked him. Suddenly Zer0 and Deadpool jumped onto the balcony. "Zer0!" Maya cheered as she ran over to him. She hugged him and he spun her around. "How did the job go?" Lilith questioned.

Deadpool pulled out his phone and showed it to Lilith. Maya walked over and looked for herself. It was a picture of a guy in a lab coat with his head blown off. "Looks like a completed contract." Lilith commented. "Hell yeah!" Deadpool cheered. "When do I get my payment?"

"Later tonight. Don't worry, you'll get your payment."

Deadpool did a weird victory dance and everyone laughed. Maya noticed the sniper rifle on Zer0's back. "What's that?" Maya questioned. Zer0 pulled it off his back and proudly proclaimed "This is the One Shot, most powerful, accurate, and silent sniper rifle there currently is." Deadpool pulled out two small assault rifles and proclaimed "And these two beauties are the Dual Pythons. Hundred round mag with barrels designed for sustained fire without them melting."\

"Looks like you two had a large amount of fun." Lilith laughed. "Indeed we did." Zer0 confirmed.

"Anything else happen?"

Deadpool answered "I was called by Hyperion. They know I'm not working for them anymore." Maya added "So we lost our window and things just got that much harder."

"Even harder since Hyperion is sending more assassins after us."

Maya felt her eyes widen when he said that. "Do you think we can handle that?" She questioned. Deadpool started flexing and exclaimed "I think we can handle it." She looked to Zer0 who was doing the same thing. "We got this." He proclaimed while flexing.

Axton walked in and shouted "What's going on in here?" Deadpool jokingly proclaimed "Flex contest!"

"I'm in!"

Axton started flexing his own muscles. Maya rolled her eyes and left the guys to their contest. She stepped outside and sat on the bench. She thought about what Deadpool had said, about more assassins showing up. She wondered what the next assassin would be like.

A week later…

Everything had been incredibly quite. Deadpool and Lilith were planning out the assassination of Dr. Samuels, head of Hyperion research. Maya sat with Zer0 on top of Pierce Station. Zer0 had his arm around her and they were eating a pizza from Moxxi's. Maya had been doing some serious thinking about her relationship with Zer0.

Whenever she was around him, Zer0 seemed distracted. She felt like she was a distraction to him, leaving him vulnerable. She felt awful for what she was about to do. "Zer0," She sighed "I have something to tell you." He looked at her with a worried look and responded "Yeah."

"We've been dating for a few days now."

"Yeah."

"And this assassin issue we're going to have has gotten me thinking."

"Why do I feel a very bad feeling about this?"

"I don't want to be leverage against you. I know the assassins will try to use me to get to you and I don't want to put you through that."

"Are… are you breaking up with me?"

Maya dropped her head and proclaimed "Yes. I'm breaking up with you."

"We don't have to do this. We can make it through this."

Maya just shook her head and repeated "No. We have to." She didn't argue with him. She jumped down and walked down the alley. She rounded the corner and leaned against the wall, crying her heart out. A few minutes went by and there was a sudden crash.

Maya came back around the corner to see Deadpool fall from the side of the Sanctuary pillar. Zer0 jumped down with his sword drawn. "This is YOUR FAULT!" Zer0 roared as he charged Deadpool. Deadpool barely had enough time to pull a sword out. They clashed blades for a moment when Deadpool punched Zer0 in the face.

Zer0 faltered, giving Deadpool enough time to run to the fast travel station and travel. Zer0 recovered and chased after him. Maya ran to the HQ to find it in a wreck. "What happened?" Maya asked as she saw Lilith emerge from the balcony. "Zer0 walked in, he looked like hell. Then he just grabbed Deadpool and started throwing him everywhere." Lilith answered.

"I didn't think he would take it this bad."

"Take what that bad? What did you do?"

"I broke up with him."

"Why?"

"I was afraid the assassins would try to use me against him if I was captured."

Lilith pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed "Clean up while it go stop Zer0 from turning Deadpool into pulled pork." Lilith walked out while Maya started up righting everything that was tossed about. She had her back to the balcony when she heard a large thud. "I don't want to talk. Just leave me be." Maya choked out. "I'm not here to talk." A dark voice replied.

She spun around to find a pistol at her head and a knife to her throat. "You are going to help me kill Zer0." The assassin replied.

o00000O0000o

Zer0 ran after Deadpool, who fast travelled to Three Horns Valley. "Quit running!" Zer0 bellowed as he closed in on Deadpool. Zer0 drew his revolver and shot him in the leg. Deadpool dropped to a knee and Zer0 tackled him. "This isn't my fault!" Deadpool cried as Zer0 punched him. "What are you blaming me for?"

"Maya just left me because the assassins after us!"

"That isn't my fault! It's Hyperion's!"

"If you didn't come here…"

"Then Hyperion would have sent a different one."

Zer0 just held onto Deadpool and panted. He knew Wade was right, he couldn't place the blame on him. "I'm sorry." Zer0 apologized. "I'm so sorry Wade." He got off of him and helped Deadpool up. "It's okay." Deadpool accepted. "I know how bad it hurts when your heart gets broken."

"I just had to let my anger out on something, and sadly it was you."

"It's okay. I understand."

Zer0's ECHO went off and he answered it. "Hey Zer0." Maya answered. "Hey Maya." He grumbled.

"Can we talk?"

"What's there to talk about?"

"I messed up. I want to fix this."

"Alright. Where do you want to talk?"

"Lover's Leap. We can be perfectly alone there."

"I'll be there."

Deadpool questioned "Well?" Zer0 answered "She wants to talk. I'm going to hear her out." Zer0 went to the fast travel station and nearly ran into Lilith. "Hey Lilith." He greeted as he started the station. He travelled to the Eridium Blight.

o00000O00000o

(These next parts occur simultaneously, so I'm going to try and tell it that way)

Deadpool and Lilith walked into the HQ and started cleaning up. Deadpool looked up at the balcony and his heart nearly stopped when he saw a symbol carved into the balcony.

Zer0 approached Lover's Leap and sighed. He was really unsure about this, he had a bad feeling.

The symbol was a circle with a line down the center and a small diagonal line on the right side. "Dear god they hired him." Deadpool gasped. "Hired who?" Lilith asked.

Zer0 climbed the ladder and walked around the shack, not seeing Maya anywhere. He heard a muffled yells and turned around to see Maya bound and gagged. "Maya!" He shouted as he ran towards her. Before he entered the shack, a gloved hand punched him and sent him flying back. Zer0 looked up to see his attacker and his heart stopped.

"He's probably one of the most deadly assassins known." Deadpool explained. "This guy is cold, heartless, and precise. I'm afraid of this guy."

Zero scrambled up, but the assassin started throwing punched. Zer0 just kept taking hits until the assassin grabbed him by his throat and raised him up.

"What is he called?" Lilith questioned. Deadpool looked at her and replied in the most serious tone he had ever used.

"Deathstroke"

Zer0 choked as Deathstroke tightened his grip. "I thought you were dead." Deathstroke proclaimed. He pulled out a sword and placed the tip square on Zer0's chest. "Time to finish what I started." He growled. Deathstroke pulled Zer0 while thrusting his sword.

Zer0 heard Maya scream and everything went black.

Maya was forced to watch as Deathstroke beat the living hell out of Zer0. This was exactly what Maya was afraid of, she was bait for Zer0. She was able to wriggle her way out of her hand bindings as Deathstroke plunged his blade through Zer0's chest. She screamed when it happened. She untied the bindings on her feet and stood up.

She was too late and saw Deathstroke slide Zer0 off his blade and send him off the cliff. May felt a massive rage and phase locked Deathstroke. She threw Deathstroke over the edge and she ran as fast as she could. She was able to get to the fast travel station and went to Sanctuary. She nearly ran into Lilith as she entered the HQ.

"Where's Zer0?" Lilith questioned. Maya broke down in tears and hugged Lilith. "He's dead." She cried. "The assassin got him." Deadpool walked into her view and sighed "Deathstroke never did leave a contract unfinished."

"What?"

"He always finished a contract."

o00000O0000o

A gloved hand reached up and established a grip. Deathstroke pulled himself up and got to his feet. It was a good thing he got a grappling hook before the mission. He pulled out his communicator and called Blake. "Contract complete." Deathstroke stated. "Very good." Blake responded. "Our New-U stations have been deactivated, so he will not be coming back."

"And my payment?"

"The money will be wired to your account."

"Excellent."

Deathstroke hung up and started walking. "This is going to be fun." Deathstroke laughed.

Some of you may be wondering, why is the DC assassin Deathstroke in a story where Deadpool is the main character? Well, Deadpool is essentially a parody of Deathstroke. Deadpool = Wade Wilson, Deathstroke = Slade Wilson. Both assassins who use guns and swords that are super soldiers. See the similarities? That's why he's there, plus he's badass and makes the perfect villain.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the wait on this next chapter, I was having a serious writer's block when it came to this. But here you go.

Chapter 6: Contract

It had been almost a month since Deathstroke entered the playing field and killed Zer0. Maya sat at Moxxi's bar with a beer in her hand and a frown on her face. She knew that the beer wasn't going to help her, but she didn't care. She blamed herself for Zer0's death, since she made herself an easy target and bait for Zer0. Her head dropped and hit the bar when she thought about that.

Maya had to admit to herself that she loved Zer0, but now he was gone. "I'm a wreck." She groaned. "Just a freaking wreck." She heard Deadpool proclaim "Drowning our sorrow in booze still?" She looked up to see him sit next to her. "Yep." She responded as she raised the bottle to her face.

Deadpool took the bottle from her and set it on the bar. "I know you haven't been taking Zer0's death as well as the rest of us." He pointed. "No shit." Maya groaned.

"I think that it's time for you to move on."

She shot him a death look and he got the message. "Just… think about it, and quit drinking. We go after Dr. Samuels tomorrow. You need to be at the top of your game." Deadpool advised. He walked out, leaving Maya to the bar and its usual inhabitants. Moxxi walked up to her and asked "Still upset about Zer0." Maya nodded and felt tears in her eyes.

She got up and went to her place. She slammed the door shut and started crying. Every time she thought about moving on, she thought about how happy she was with him. She was truly happy with him and she knew he was happy too. "Zer0." She cried. "My poor broken Zer0."

She thought about the brief time they spent as a couple, how she broke his heart, then the monster Deathstroke. Then when Deadpool told them Zer0 met Deathstroke before.

A month ago…

"What do you mean he always finishes a contract?" Lilith questioned as she tried to comfort Maya. "Looks like you blew that secret." Sane pointed out. "Now you've got to explain yourself." Crazy added. "Deathstroke tried to kill Zer0 a while back, before he was even an assassin." Deadpool explained. "He was a rising star back on Tactron in the field of business. He was even about to be married. A beautiful girl, but then he came home one day and found her tied to a chair. When he tried to help her, Deathstroke took a knife and stabbed Zer0 in the shoulder. Deathstroke beat the living hell out of Zer0, nearly killed him right there."

Deadpool stopped because he hated this story. "Finish." Maya pleaded. "Please."

"Then he took the knife and pinned him to a wall. Deathstroke took a bomb and strapped it to Zer0's fiancé. He turned the timer on and left. The bomb went off, killing his fiancé but threw him from the building. Zer0 was a different man after that. Just started killing, Boss Lady found him and turned him into an assassin."

He looked to Maya and Lilith, whose faces were ghost white. "Like I said," He repeated "he always finishes a contract."

Present time…

Deadpool walked from the bar back to the HQ. He went upstairs and met with Lilith, who had their plans spread all over the table. "Still drinking?" Lilith questioned. "Still drinking." Deadpool confirmed.

"She needs help."

"She needs Zer0 back."

"Well he isn't coming back… he's dead."

Deadpool was a little hurt at her tone and she could tell. "I'm sorry." She apologized. He walked over to her and wrapped her in a hug. "It's okay." He assured. Lilith let him go and went back to the plan. "I think we can pull this off." She assured.

"We're going through with it."

"This plan is going to bomb." Sane criticized. "You don't know that." Deadpool argued.

"You are terrible at stealth and this is what the plan is calling for."

"We have to at least try."

He looked to Lilith, who had a concerned look on her face. He smiled to assure her everything was fine. She smiled and sighed "Here goes nothing."

o00000O00000o

Deadpool moved silently with Mordecai and Maya behind him in the Hyperion Wildlife Preservation Sanctuary. They read Dr. Samuels movements and traced her here. Axton was next to the power supply waiting on Deadpool's cue. They moved to the back doors and posted by it. He nodded at the two and they nodded back.

He pressed the button on his belt to signal Axton. As soon as they heard the explosion Deadpool pried the door open and they slid in. The team moved through the corridors as they were bathed in the red emergency power lights. Two soldiers rounded the corner and Deadpool shot them with his silenced pistols. They continued to move through the hallways until they reached the security office.

Mordecai watched the door while Maya went to work on the computer. "Where is she?" Deadpool questioned. "Heading for the landing pad." Maya answered as she pulled up the feeds. A Hyperion Helicopter landed on the pad and four soldiers jumped out. Another screen showed Dr. Samuels being escorted by two more soldiers.

"How long do we have?" Deadpool questioned. "Maybe ten before she makes it." Maya estimated. "Five at the least."

"Let's get moving."

They went out the door and ran through the hallways. A few engineers got in their way, but they were quick work. They ran out the last door and found themselves on the helipad. There, they saw Dr. Samuels getting ready to climb into chopper with the six soldiers standing in a firing squad style. "You were so close!" Samuels announced. "But not close enough."

"What makes you think we can't kill you now?" Mordecai asked. Deadpool watched as Deathstroke emerged from the chopper. "Hello there Deadpool." He greeted. "Mother fucker." Maya growled. He could practically feel the rage coming from Maya.

"Looks like I'm getting a triple kill bounty." Deathstroke proclaimed. "Take them ou!" Before Deathstroke could speak, one of the soldiers head exploded. Deadpool looked at Mordecai whose sniper rifle was pointed at the ground. "Where did that come from?" Mordecai asked. Another soldier's head exploded, and then a third.

The other three raised their weapons but were immediately cut down by gunfire above them. A woman jumped down in front of them. She was Maya's height and wore a black skin tight suit. She holstered the pistols and turned towards them. Her hair was a deep blue and her face was painted white with a black dot covering her left eye.

"Do I always have to save your ass Deadpool?" She mocked. "Hello again Domino." He greeted. "I don't care how many assassins you have!" Deathstroke bellowed. "I'm still going to kill you!" He drew his sword and charged the group. Deadpool watched as Deathstroke was lifted up and thrown at the helicopter.

Deathstroke got up and stepped into the helicopter with Dr. Samuels as it started to fly off. "You aren't getting away that easy!" Maya bellowed as she pulled out a rocket launcher. "I thought we agreed this was a spec ops mission?" Deadpool proclaimed.

"I figured the plan was going to fail and we would have to fight our way in."

"Nice to see you have faith in my stealh."

"You don't have stealth." Domino pointed out. "I don't need your comments." Deadpool barked. He watched Maya take aim and fire at the helicopter. It exploded in a fire explosion, hopefully killing Samuels and Deathstroke. "You think he's dead?" Mordecai questioned.

"Not by a long shot." Deadpool commented. "Speaking of long shot," Domino exclaimed. She pulled out her phone and put it on speaker. "Nice shooting there." She complimented. A familiar voice proclaimed "Thank you Domino. I thought it was pretty good."

"You're the best."

Deadpool took a step closer and gasped "Zer0?" He responded "Hey man! Good hear from you. How have you been?"

"Pretty good. Where have you been?"

"Healing up. We can talk back at Sanctuary."

"Sure thing."

Domino hung up and put her phone back. "Let's get to Sanctuary." She proclaimed. Deadpool nodded and led the group back to Sanctuary.

o00000O00000o

Maya couldn't believe what she just heard. Zer0, and he was alive! They travelled to Sanctuary and she ran out to see Zer0 standing by the bench. "Zer0!" She cried as she ran over to him and hugged him. "I can't believe you're alive!" She basically had her head buried in his chest and cried tears of joy.

"Can you please stop using my boyfriend as a tissue?" Domino barked. Maya let him and turned towards Domino while mouthing the word "boyfriend". "Boyfriend?" Maya repeated out lout. Domino nodded as she walked over to Zer0 and kissed him. "Holy shit." Deadpool commented.

He stopped and did a little victory dance singing "I got to swear! I got to swear!" Domino laughed "You were right. Still a nut." Maya was in shock at what she heard. Deadpool stopped his little dance and returned to what he was saying "Anyway, you and Domino? Nice." Zer0 put his arm around her and exclaimed "Yep."

"How did you survive?" Mordecai questioned. "I thought Deathstroke stabbed you and tossed you off a cliff?" Zer0 exclaimed "I will tell you all my story, but first I need to change my bandages. I think I busted my wound open with the sniper recoil." Domino groaned "Again? It isn't going to heal if you keep breaking it open."

"I might stop breaking it open if you stop having me snipe."

She smirked and punched his arms. All of them went to the HQ and gathered around the table. Zer0 removed his shirt to reveal his entire upper chest wrapped in bandages, with the center slowly turning a darker red. Domino started taking his bandages off while he explained what happened to him.

I bet NO ONE saw any of that coming. I'm just full of surprises. Let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

Sooooo… yeah. Zer0's back… and he's with Domino. Yeah, this is going to be interesting.

Chapter 7: Return of Zer0

A month ago…

Domino sat on a platform in the Eridium Blight the sat at the shore. She came to Pandora because she heard someone was paying BIG for the heads of a few people. Nothing she couldn't handle after being on the X- Force and dealing with Deadpool. She looked across the ocean as the sun was setting. "For a bandit planet," she thought "this place is pretty beautiful."

She looked around and saw someone get thrown off a ledge. "What the hell?" She muttered. "What was that?" The person hit the water and just sank. "Shit!" She barked as she jumped into the water and swam after them. She dove down and grabbed the man.

She dragged him onto the shore and looked over his wounds, they were serious. He had a massive stab wound that just barely missed his heart and spine. She pulled out two of the healing capsules that were common on the planet and injected him with both of them. His wounds started to heal and his breathing eased a bit too where he wasn't hyperventilating. He wore a strange looking helmet but it was cracked along the front.

She reached under the helmet and unlatched it, then she pulled up on it to see who she rescued. She nearly dropped the helmet and gasped. "My god he's gorgeous!" She gasped. The guy smiled weakly and wheezed "Thank you. You are pretty good looking yourself."

"I'm Domino."

"Zer0."

"Come one. I'm going to get you somewhere safe so you can heal."

"Thank you."

She sat him up and threw his arm over her shoulder. He was really light and she lifted him pretty easily. "Thank you." He repeated over and over as she put him in her vehicle. She drove him to a house that was on top of the mountain, after cleaning it up a bit it was actually a nice place. She dragged him inside and laid him on the bed. He almost immediately fell asleep.

She sat in the chair and watched him sleep. She couldn't help but stare at him, he was just so handsome. "Get a hold of yourself Neena." She barked in her head. "A guy like this probably has a girlfriend." She slumped in the chair and fell asleep.

Domino woke up to the smell of something cooking. She looked in the kitchen and found Zer0 awake, cooking breakfast, and he wasn't wearing a shirt. A messy bandage was wrapped round his chest. "Good morning Domino." He greeted. "Good morning." She responded. "What are you doing?"

"Making breakfast."

"Right. Why are you still here?"

"I figured I kinda owe the girl who saved my life."

"I guess that makes sense. Did you try and wrap the bandage yourself?"

"Tried. The wound isn't healing quite right."

Domino could see the wounds still bleeding. He picked up a plate and put a pancake on it. "If you ever need anything, just ask." He assured. "I owe you my life." She took the plate and set it down. "Let's start with changing that bandage." Domino chuckled.

He sat down and she removed his bandages. She picked up the roll of bandages, but she found herself just staring at him. "Domino?" Zer0 responded. "Sorry!" She blurted as she started wrapping the bandage around him. She felt her face grow hot as she came close to him when she wrapped the bandage around his back.

She was almost done when she felt his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and he had a smile on his face. "Thank you so much." He thanked. She couldn't utter the words she could think of so she just looked down and finished bandaging his wounds. She turned and set the bandages down, she didn't turn back since she felt a little embarrassed.

"Are you okay Domino?" She heard him question. She couldn't help herself but throw her arms around him and kissed him. She let him go and took a step back. Zer0 had a confused look on his face and proclaimed "That was… interesting." Domino just blurted out "Sorry! I'm sure you have a girlfriend already and I just crossed a line…"

He had a sad look on his face and explained "Actually I don't. I used to, but she dumped me yesterday." Domino felt both sad and relieved. Sad because this poor man had his heart broken figuratively and nearly literally. Relieved because he was available for her, but probably not right now. "I'm sorry to hear that." Domino apologized. "I'm sure you aren't ready to start another relationship."

"I'm not. Right now I could just use a friend."

"I'll be your friend."

A smile returned to his face and Domino felt a warmth inside. She may not be dating him, but being friends was a good start. Zer0 stayed with her while his wound slowly healed. They explored and Zer0 planned on hunting down Deathstroke, plotting his revenge. After a week, Zer0 asked Domino out on a date.

Zer0 and Domino overheard Hyperion chatter about a possible assassination on Dr. Samuels. "Do you think it's your friends?" Domino questioned. "It fits the M. O. for them." Zer0 responded.

"What do you want to do? You wanted Deathstroke to think you're dead. Helping them is going to throw you back onto the board."

"My guess, he'll be there. Deadpool will get a team together without a doubt. He couldn't pass up an opportunity to take out more birds with one stone."

"What's the plan?"

"I don't want to drag you into this."

"That's too bad. You're my boyfriend and I'm going to help you."

"I guess there's no point in arguing. I'm still in no condition for a full fight, so I'm just going to snipe with the One Shot. More than likely Deadpool will make his presence obvious and Samuels will be evacuated. It would be best to wait by there."

"Sounds good."

o00000O00000o

Maya listened to the story and watched as Domino removed Zer0's bandages, replaced them, and then sat on Zer0's lap with her arm around him. "One hell of a disappearing act." Axton commented. "Yeah," Zer0 apologized "sorry about that. I needed Deathstroke to think I was dead so I could get the jump on him." Deadpool walked over and shook Zer0's hand, proclaiming "Zer0, it's good to have you back in the game, and Domino, found yourself a good man here."

"Thank you Deadpool."

Domino laughed "Hopefully, he's better than you were." Deadpool responded "Much better… What? He is."

"Still talking to the 'Voices' are we?"

"They keep me company. Just me, myself, and I"

Everyone laughed at the joke except for Maya. She just sat there and thought "He really moved on like that? Just like that?" Domino hopped off of him and pulled him off the chair. "It has been an awesome day and all," Zer0 groaned "but I gotta call it a day." Everyone let him and Domino leave, but then they all turned and looked at Maya.

"What?" She snapped. Everyone looked around awkwardly and tried to beat around the subject. "This is about Zer0 and Domino." Maya assumed. "Well duh." Gaige was the first to speak up. "You've been in the bar crying over Zer0. Then he shows up with another woman around his waist." Axton added "That has to get under your skin."

Maya stood up and proclaimed "Zer0's not my boyfriend anymore. He can date any girl he fucking wants to. It isn't my problem." Maya was walking out when Deadpool yelled "It is your problem. You still have feelings for him." She didn't want to listen anymore. All she wanted to do was drink until she didn't remember that asshole and his bitch anymore. Maya had been at the bar for nearly two hours, drinking her pain away. She downed another beer when she heard Domino's voice.

"Hey Moxxi, can I just get a cheese pizza?" She questioned. "Zer0's been dying for one." Maya scowled at the word 'dying' and grabbed another beer. "Hey Maya." Domino greeted. "How are you?" Maya didn't answer, just drank from her beer. "I guess everything isn't okay." Domino assumed.

"No shit Sherlock." Maya growled.

"Alright I'm done with this being nice bull shit. I know you were dating Zer0 before and it is clear you still have feelings for him."

"I would stop if I were you."

"But you need to get over it. You dumped Zer0 and I was there to help him."

"You'd better stop."

"Zer0 is MY boyfriend now. Get. Over."

Maya never let her finish that sentence because she hit Domino over the head with the beer bottle. Domino faltered and Maya punched her in the face. She was going to swing again, but Domino delivered an uppercut and nailed Maya. Maya stumbled back and Domino tackled her. Maya crashed to the floor and Domino jumped on top of her.

Domino began wailing on Maya. Maya felt Domino's weight lift off of her and she shot up. It was Deadpool and Zer0. "Let me at that bitch!" Domino cursed as Zer0 practically dragged her out the side door. Maya turned and stormed out the front door.

She was grabbed by her shoulder and spun around. It was Lilith who barked "What the hell was that?" Maya responded "That bitch started it."

"I don't care who started it. You can't just wail on Domino because she's dating Zer0."

"You're one to talk about relationships."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Roland's dead and what do you do? Pick up some schizophrenic merc and use him like a sex doll."

Maya obviously hit a nerve since Lilith looked like she was about to cry. Maya simply turned and went back to her place. She used a hypo health to heal herself and started packing. "I am not staying here anymore." She growled to herself. "Nothing here for me anymore." She packed everything she had and sat down.

She planned on leaving late at night so no one would stop her.

o00000O00000o

It was about 2 in the morning when Maya woke up to someone knocking on her door. "Fuck." She groaned. "I fell asleep." She answered the door to find Zer0. "Get lost." She snarled as she pushed him out of the way. "Are you going somewhere?" Zer0 questioned.

"Duh. I'm done here."

"You're done?"

She ignored him and went to the fast travel station. "I'm not going to stop you from leaving," Zer0 told her before she hit the station "I just want you to know something."

"What?"

"You will always have a special place in my heart."

She was so shocked to hear that she dropped her bag. She looked at him and questioned "What did you just say?"

"You will always have a special place in my heart."

She was an arm's length of him and she exclaimed "Then why are you with Domino?"

"Because you dumped me. You are special to me because I haven't felt the same about someone since…"

He cut himself off and looked away. "Since Deathstroke murdered your wife." Maya finished. He looked at her with a surprised look on his face. "How?" He gasped.

"Deadpool told me after Deathstroke got you."

"Remind me to cut his head off later."

"Noted. But if I'm special to you, why not be with me?"

"Because I really like Domino, and I thought you didn't want to be with me anymore."

"So I'm just stuck with feelings for a guy who has a girlfriend. Great."

He wrapped her in a hug and sighed "I'm sorry I made this complicated for you." She wrapped her arms around him and responded "It isn't your fault."

"We can work this out."

"First I gotta fix everything."

She let him go and picked her bag up. "I'm going back to my place. I'll talk to Domino tomorrow." Maya proclaimed. Zer0 smiled and went back to his place. Maya went to her door and banged her head against the door. "Fuck my life." She sighed. "I wish it was really that simple."

This is getting crazy! Sorry amorgan, the fight scene wasn't as sexy as you suggested, but it got a point across. Let me know what you think or what you'd like to see, writer's block is hitting pretty damn hard for this story.


	8. Chapter 8

Heyo! Thanks for being patient with me. Trying to figure out the direction of the story. But I digress, here is the next chapter…

Chapter 8: Back to Work

Deadpool sat on the railing of the Crimson Raiders HQ, pondering his scattered and insane thoughts. "Narrator! You're back!" Deadpool cheered. "You haven't been using us as a point of view for a while." Sane pointed out. "Yeah," Crazy agreed "what's up with that?"

I was almost fired for helping you a few chapters back.

"You were almost fired for that?" Deadpool questioned.

Yep, but I was able to talk them out of it

"Good. You've been the best narrator."

Thanks, anyway, we need to get back to the story. Important stuff is going down

"Alright, good to have you back."

Lilith walked up and leaned against the railing. "Who are you talking to?" She questioned. "The narrator." Deadpool answered. She chuckled "Whatever you say."

"Is what Maya said yesterday still bothering you?"

"A little."

Deadpool put his arm around her to comfort her. "Don't worry about it." He comforted. "Maybe planning an assassination will help take your mind off of it." Lilith sighed "Sure. Let's see who else we can take out." Lilith went to the table and went through the digital list of Hyperion personnel. "The only person we have any known whereabouts of is Professor Nakyama in Aegres." Lilith updated.

"Sounds good." Deadpool proclaimed. "Where should we start?" Lilith was about to answer when Maya walked in. "What do you want?" Lilith growled. "To apologize." Maya responded.

"Alright."

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said yesterday. I was angry and drunk and I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry."

Lilith crossed her arms and sighed "Apology accepted. Just watch your temper next time." Crazy cheered "Horray! Now kiss and make up!" Sane denounced "I don't think that will happen." Deadpool sighed "One can only dream." He shook his head and came back to reality to see Maya and Lilith staring at him with strange looks.

"Just ignore me." Deadpool announced. "You are such a goof." Lilith chuckled.

"Anyway, Nakyama, where do we start?"

"I know Hammerlock has a lodge down there. He can probably help us out."

"Awesome! Let's get everyone up here and brief them."

Lilith jumped onto the ECHO, leaving Deadpool alone with Maya. "This is really awkward." Crazy whispered. "Talk to her." Sane ordered. "She is our friend." Deadpool took Sane's advice and asked "How are you doing Maya?" She shuffled uncomfortably and proclaimed "I'm good."

"What a terrible liar." Sane grumbled. "She can do better than that." Crazy added. "Come on Maya." Deadpool urged. "Something's bothering you. I can tell." Maya confessed "You know what's bothering me."

"Zer0 and Domino."

"Exactly."

"Why is that bothering you so much?"

"Because I love him, but we can never be together."

"I get it. Been there."

"What do you know?"

"Because I'm in love with Death, but since Thanos put a curse on me, preventing me from dying, we can never be together."

"You're in love with Death?"

"Long story, but yeah."

Maya sat down with a look that pretty much said "You really are out of your mind". Deadpool leaned against the wall as Axton walked in. "What's up Deadpool?" He questioned.

"Going after Professor Nakyama over in Aegres."

"Cool. You're still here Maya? Thought you would have bailed out by now."

Maya sighed "I tried to leave, but Zer0 stopped me." Crazy proclaimed "Zer0? Why would her stop her?" Sane commented "I'm sure he had his reasons."

"Like what?"

"How should I know? We're voices in our own head, not Zer0's."

Deadpool muttered under his breath "Whatever his reasons were, let him go with it." He looked up to see Krieg, Salvador and Gaige walked in. "WHO'S HEAD WILL WE TURN INTO SKG STEAK!?" Krieg bellowed. Axton answered "Professor Nakyama." As soon as Axton answered Krieg, Zer0 and Domino walked in hand in hand.

Deadpool couldn't help but look at Maya, who had her head down. "Now it's really awkward." Crazy added. Deadpool broke the awkward silence and started the mission briefing. "Alright." He started. "Our target is Professor Nakyama. Our sources suggest that he is somewhere in the jungle continent of Aegres." Lilith walked in and announced "Hammerlock is already there and awaiting your arrival. Says he needs help clearing out the lodge though."

"Then what are we waiting for!" Salvador cheered. They all got up and walked out except for Maya, who grabbed Domino's hand and asked "Can we talk for a moment?" Deadpool watched as Domino had a scowl on her face and grumbled "Fine." He caught up with Zer0 and asked "I just gotta ask, why did you stop Maya from leaving?" Zer0 sighed "Because she is important to me, which reminds me."

Zer0 pulled out his sword and shoved it into Deadpool's chest. "THAT is for talking about my past." He growled.

"I thought you were dead! And everyone deserved an explanation about you and Deathstroke."

Zer0 removed his sword and let Deadpool drop. "What do you think Maya wanted to talk to Domino about?" Zer0 questioned as he sheathed his sword. "I don't know." Deadpool coughed. "Maybe it was to apologize for starting the fight yesterday." Sane suggested. "Do you think they'll kiss and make up?" Crazy asked.

"Doubtful."

"You're no fun."

Deadpool stood up to see the others at the customization station and putting on their hunter helmets. Axton had on a wide brim hat that looked like it went through a blender. Krieg wore a strange looking wooden mask. Salvador had a safari hat and a mustache that could have also been a beard. Gaige had a large safari hat with her pigtails pulled down.

Zer0 wore a strange looking helmet that looked like a mix between a safari helmet and Darth Vader. "Where can we get helmets like that?" Crazy questioned. "Can I get something like that?" Deadpool questioned. The group pulled him to the customization station and started putting a hunter set up for him. After a few minutes, they set him up with a safari helmet, a fancy looking mustache (which went over his mask which he thought was funny) and a monocle (his idea).

"I say." Deadpool proclaimed in his fancy voice. "This excursion will be most exquisite." Gaige jumped in "I do agree Sir Deadpool of Crazy."

"Indeed."

Everyone laughed and Deadpool saw Maya and Domino walking over. "Welcome companions!" Axton cheered, going along with the 'gentlemen' joke. "Who are you?" Maya and Domino shot each other strange looks and started laughing. "What did we miss?" Domino laughed. "My dear," Zer0 proclaimed "we are going on an adventure!"

"You sound like idiots."

"Tis part of the fun!"

Domino started cracking up as Maya put on a cap with earmuffs and eye protection. "It appears that our adventure shell commence! Tally ho!" Deadpool cheered. "OFF WE GO!" Krieg bellowed, trying to join in. Everyone laughed and travelled to Aegres. They dropped onto a ledge that over looked Hunters Grotto.

It looked like a swamp underground with the large rock ceiling over them. "This location gives me a rather uneasy feeling." Deadpool proclaimed. "Indeed." Maya jumped in. "I have rather ill feelings right now." Deadpool jumped down and landed near a Catch-a-ride station. He went over to it as the others jumped down.

"Something appears to very wrong here." Sane pointed out. Deadpool tried to access the Catch-a-ride, but it wasn't working. "Seriously," Crazy agreed "I had the feeling we're being watched." Deadpool looked around and noticed movement on the ledges above them. Zer0 walked over to him and whispered "Real talk time. We aren't alone here. Something is very wrong." Deadpool agreed "I know. There's movement along the ridge line."

"We'd better be on our toes."

Domino wrapped her arms around Zer0's waist and asked "What are you two conversing about?" Zer0 went back to his fancy voice and answered "Nothing to worry about, my dear. Let us press on!" Deadpool played along but thought "He sees it too. Better not worry the others." Deadpool started walking towards the large building that was suspended between two rocks. As he started walking, a large bug looking creature rose out of the water.

"Drifter!" Gaige shouted as she started shooting it. "Aim for the yellow parts!" Deadpool fell back and pulled out his pistols. He struck the large yellow part and it exploded, covering him in a disgusting slime. "I say!" He proclaimed. "This is most dissatisfactory!" The drifter screeched and collapsed as the others shot it in the eyes.

"Exemplary!" Zer0 cheered as he helped Deadpool up. "Let us make haste!" Deadpool tried to wipe the slime off of him as they pressed on towards the lodge. They reached the lodge and Deadpool knocked on the door. "Hammerlock!" He called. "We have arrived as you requested! We are ready for our excursion!" Hammerlock jumped onto the ECHO and declared "Excellent! Come meet me by the camp and we will clear out the lodge together."

They went around the lodge and met with Hammerlock in a small cave like place. "Why are we out here and not within our lodge?" Maya questioned.

"It seems the local savages have taken up residence within the lodge. I will require assistance in clearing them out."

"Then let us clear them out!" Domino cheered. "Extermination ho!" Axton mocked. "I say," Hammerlock commented "are you making humorous remarks against me?"

"Never!"

The group laughed and proceeded to the lodge. As they approached, the door flew open and a guy that looked like a psycho ran out. He wore a wooden mask similar to Krieg's and brandished a curved sword and shield. Krieg was the first to charge and clashed with the savage. More started to run out and Deadpool charged them.

"Have at thee adversary!" Deadpool barked as he clashed with another savage. Deadpool swung his sword and made contact with the savage's shield. The savage shouted something in a strange language and Deadpool replied "I have no idea what you just said, but assume it was something profane." Deadpool kicked the savage back and drove his sword through his chest. He looked around and everyone managed to kill the savages.

Hammerlock walked into the lodge when a man appeared onto the ECHO. "I see you in my swamp little moths." He proclaimed. "I know what you want. You want what's on my ship… you want my power." Hammerlock responded "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid we've never heard of you."

"What? Professor Nakyama? Scourge of Hyperion? I poisoned Atlas' CEO."

"Oh, that's… that's good for you."

"People are terrified of me. You guys are assholes."

"At least we found the guy we're looking for." Salvador proclaimed. "Then let the hunt begin!" Deadpool cheered. Everyone cheered as they entered the lodge.

There we go! I am back! Writer's block can suck it! Anyway, let me know what y'all think or give any ideas.

-Chief


	9. Chapter 9: Hunting Nakyama

Heyo! Sorry it took so long to get this new chapter up, been a little busy. And I know all of you are dying to see this.

Chapter 9: Hunting Nakyama

Deadpool sat on the landing inside the lodge and watched everyone mill about. Axton and Hammerlock were looking over a map trying to figure out where on Aegres Nakyama could be. Maya and Gaige sat in the chairs and talked. Zer0 and Domino had walked out a few minutes ago. Krieg sat in the corner and looked like he was having an internal argument.

"Everyone looks so busy." Crazy pointed out. "That's because we're on the job." Sane commented. "We should be helping somehow." Deadpool grumbled. He jumped down and went to the radio to see if there was any chatter. He spun the dial until he heard some strange chatter.

It sounded like some kind of weird chanting and he only caught one clear word, "Hyperion". Deadpool shouted "Hey guys! Come listen to this!" Hammerlock and Axton ran over and started trying to pinpoint its location. "Got it!" Axton proclaimed. "That looks like it's coming from Scallya's Grove." Hammerlock pointed out.

"To Scallya's Grove ho!" Deadpool cheered, causing everyone to bust out laughing. "I honestly believe you are mocking me." Hammerlock grumbled.

"That would be horribly ungentlemanly of me to mock one of your stature."

"Why do I feel you are still mocking me?"

"Because I am… okay I'll stop."

Hammerlock had a frown on his face as Deadpool walked out. He found Zer0 and Domino sitting on the edge of the platform hand in hand. "Let's go love birds." Deadpool mocked. Domino shot him a dirty look and he was sure Zer0 just had a smirk on his face, but since Zer0 was wearing his helmet he couldn't tell. Deadpool travelled the path to the Catch-a-ride and found it wasn't operational just like the other one.

"Allow me to fix the Catch-a-ride so you may spawn yourselves a dingy." Hammerlock proclaimed. "He he he." Crazy chuckled. "He said dingy." Sane agreed "It is a pretty funny word." Deadpool giggled "He he he he. Dingy." Hammerlock laughed with him "Yes. It is a funny word." Both of them laughed for a minute and sighed.

Hammerlock continued to work on the Catch-a-ride when there was a loud whirring noise. "Prepares yourselves!" Hammerlock announced. "I fear things are about to get hairy!" As soon as he finished his statement, two large fan boats rounded the corner and started shooting at them. Deadpool rolled to the side as one of the projectiles landed where he was and erupted in a splash of acid. Deadpool drew his Dual Pythons, but the fan boats drove out of range.

He was about to lower his weapons when a group of savages dropped down from the ledge and charged them. He unleashed a wave of bullets that struck the savages, but they seemed to have no effect. The bullets seemed to just bounce off the savage's shields. The savages created a wall of shields and moved as a group. "Dear god we're fighting Spartans." Sane commented.

"The Spartans fell." Crazy laughed. "Then we must be the Persians." Deadpool pointed out as he sheathed his guns and drew his swords. He charged the shield wall and jump kicked the shield wall. He broke through and started slashing at the savages. The wall broke and the others began shooting at the savages.

Deadpool cut and slashed at the savages. "This is for not bowing to the god Xerxes!" Deadpool shouted as he stabbed a savage that had an SMG. He swung and was about to slash one in half, but the savage blocked his swing. Deadpool reassessed the savage to find out it was a badass savage. Deadpool jumped back and charged again.

This savage was more combat effective and blocked Deadpool's blow with its shield. The badass swung his blade and struck Deadpool in the side and sent him flying. Deadpool landed on his feet but fell to one knee. He looked at his wound to see his entire left side had been sliced open. He looked up to see the badass charging him and Deadpool forced himself up to defend himself.

The badass was almost on top of him, when it was shot several times from the side and Zer0 kicked it in the head. Zer0 clashed blades with the badass while Domino put a few rounds into the badass' back. The badass dropped to its knees, where Zer0 proceeded to decapitate it. "Thanks for the save there." Deadpool groaned as he gripped his side.

"Not a problem." Zer0 beamed as he help Deadpool up. "I've finished repairing the Catch-a-ride!" Hammerlock announced. "Good show!" Deadpool mocked. "Jolly good show!" Hammerlock shot Deadpool a dirty look and proclaimed "Of with you all to Scallya's Grove." Deadpool spawned a fan boat and hopped into the driver's seat, calling "All aboard!"

Maya jumped into the gunner seat while Zer0 and Domino clung to the sides. Axton spawned his own boat and Gaige, Salvador and Krieg jumped on. Deadpool followed the map and drove to the small cave beneath the area where they originally travelled. Deadpool jumped out of the boat and stood in front of the cave entrance. He felt a cold wind utter from the cave.

"I've got a bad feeling about this." Sane exclaimed. "Yeah. That place looks scary." Crazy agreed. "We're going in." Deadpool muttered as he moved into the cave. It was a small path that led to another clear part of the grotto. "Which way should we go?" Deadpool questioned.

"This way." Maya exclaimed as she moved towards a ridge. Deadpool followed her with the rest of the group behind him and they made their way to Scallya's Grove. Hammerlock popped onto the ECHO and exclaimed "I just remembered something. There is an unusual specimen in the grove. You should go kill it." Deadpool looked to the group and asked "Who wants to go hunting and who wants to investigate the strange chatter?" Axton, Salvador, Krieg, and Gaige decided to hunt what Hammerlock was talking about while everyone else went to investigate the chatter.

Deadpool moved onto the dock and admired the massive civilization that resided in the grove. "Amazing." Deadpool gasped. Domino pushed him and exclaimed "Quit gawking and get moving." Deadpool went up the stairs and ran into a group of savage hunters. "Here we go again." Sane proclaimed as Deadpool pulled out his Dual Pythons.

He started shooting the hunters, but they were quick and jumped out of the way. "Sit still you little bastards!" Deadpool shouted as the hunters continually dodged the shots. One hunter tripped and Deadpool lit the bastard up. "Got you mother fucker!" Deadpool cheered. The remaining three all raised their spears and were prepared to throw them.

Suddenly one of them was picked into phase lock while the other two were pulled closer. A wave of bullets slaughtered the hunters and Deadpool looked back to see his companions. "Is us saving you going to become a regular thing?" Zer0 mocked. Deadpool waved him off and continued moving through the structure. He made it to a path with huts lining it and a mess of savage gun man walked out.

All of them saw Deadpool and raised their SMGs at him. The group jumped behind cover, protecting themselves against the wave of bullets. Deadpool pulled out his pistols and started laying rounds into the gun man. "Where do all of these guys come from?" Domino barked. "It is easier if you don't think about it." Zer0 answered as he used his Jakobs sniper rifle and sniped the gun man.

Several of the gun man went down when four badass savages ran out of the huts and charged them. Deadpool drew his swords and charged the badasses. He kicked one in the shield and dropped him onto his back. "I'll show you a badass!" Deadpool barked as he drove both his swords into the badass' face. He looked up to see Zer0 showing off his skill as a swordsman and slice another badass in half.

Maya had a third phase locked and lit him on fire. Domino jumped around the last one and lit the badass' back up with her pistols. "Nice work babe." Zer0 complimented as he sheathed his sword. "Thank you dear." Domino replied as she wrapped her arms around his waist. Zer0 looked to see Maya's reaction when the two kissed; she was looking away.

"Can someone say jealous?" Crazy chuckled. Deadpool ignored Crazy and exclaimed "Let's get a move on! We haven't got all day!" Deadpool took the lead and ran along the path until they reached an elevator. "I do say," Hammerlock announced over the ECHO, "what in the devil's name do you think they could be worshipping up there? Some kind of Hyperion murder bot?" Deadpool made a mocking face and followed along with what Hammerlock was saying.

"Just prepare for the worst." Hammerlock warned. The elevator reached the top and the group moved into the clearing where a small shack stood and a group of savages bowed down to it. Deadpool watched as a horrifyingly familiar bot rolled out of the shack. "Hello traveler!" Claptrap proclaimed. "Bloody hell." The group seemed to groan together.

Sorry if this chapter seems short, Big Game Hunt was a really short DLC and I need to separate it a bit. Anyway, review it or PM me what you think. Thoughts or suggestions are welcome.

-Chief


	10. Chapter 10: Adorton Station

Sorry for not updating this for so long. I got too excited for Ghosts of Pandora and Zer0's D3m0n. I'm still going to give this story some love and keep it going.

Chapter 10: Adorton Station

Deadpool groaned as he walked up to Claptrap. He pulled out the shotgun Salvador gave him, the Conference Call Deadpool thought it was, and practically shoved it into Claptrap's face. "I am NOT going to listen to your annoying ass voice!" Deadpool growled. "Yeah!" Crazy shouted. "There are enough annoying voices already." Sane grumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're annoying."

Deadpool shook his head to quiet the voices and returned to Claptrap. He suddenly felt two people grab his arms and started pulling him back. "Just let me shoot him!" Deadpool cried. "Just once! It's all I need!" Zer0 stood in front of him and argued "We need him! You can't just shoot him!"

"What exactly do we need him for?"

"We… um… that's a good point. Why do we need Claptrap?"

Maya argued "He might know about Nakyama." Deadpool pleaded "And when we get everything from him, THEN I can shoot him?"

"We'll see."

Deadpool sighed in acceptance and asked "What the hell are you doing here you annoying piece of wiring?" Claptrap was cowering in the little shack of his and emerged slowly. "I stowed away on Nakyama's ship after you killed that jerk wad Jack." He proclaimed. One of the savages worshiping Claptrap barked "What you say?!" Domino urged "Shut up Claptrap!"

"What? I'm just saying that if you could measure a person in douchilocities, Handsome Jack would be off the scale!"

The savage barked "He say bad things! Get him!" Deadpool pointed his shot gun at one of the savages and pulled the trigger. He watched the rounds hit the savage, then shoot from side to side. "That is awesome!" Crazy cheered. "Indeed." Sane agreed. "Some of the weapons on this planet are pretty cool."

Deadpool continuously pulled the trigger until the clip was empty. "Nice work minion!" Claptrap cheered. "I am NOT your minion!" Deadpool barked. Claptrap flinched back as Deadpool urged forward. "Yeah, YOU HEAR THAT YOU STUPID JACK LOVERS!" Claptrap shouted.

"Blasphemer's screamy screams are over there!" A savage shouted. They started to emerge from the huts and buildings around Claptrap. Deadpool pulled out his swords and charged. He sliced the first savage warrior that swung at him. Deadpool used the warrior's shield as a platform and jumped into the middle of the savage horde.

He spun around and sliced three savage's heads off. He plunged his blade into a hunter's chest before a badass struck him and threw him aside. Deadpool caught himself and prepared for the badass savage to charge him. The badass was about to run forward when a blade shot out of his chest. The badass fell forward to reveal Zer0.

Deadpool couldn't see Zer0's face, but he knew there was a smug look in his face. "Better wipe that smug ass look off your face before I cut it off." Deadpool chuckled. "I'd love to see you try." Zer0 proclaimed. "We have other things to worry about right now!" Sane barked as another badass emerged from a hut. Deadpool charged forward and clashed blades with the badass.

The savage bellowed something in a strange language, but Deadpool just laughed "That was probably the worst shit talk I've ever heard." Crazy laughed "It sounded like gibberish!" Sane groaned "That's because we don't speak his language."

"I hope he speaks shot gun!"

Deadpool whipped out his Conference Call and put a few rounds into the badass. Deadpool looked around to see Domino and Maya fighting side by side. Domino was railing savages in the heads with her pistols while Maya was shooting them with her fire SMG. A large group of savages surrounded them, but were making no headway towards them. Soon, every savage that as in the village was filled with lead, sliced in half, or torched.

"Nice work everyone." Deadpool complimented as he sheathed his swords. Zer0 went over to Domino, who proceeded to wrap her arms around his waist. Deadpool saw Maya walk away uncomfortably and he thought "This is starting to get painful." Crazy suggested "We should set her up with Wolverine!"

"I'm not setting Maya up with short stack."

Sane muttered "It's the thought that counts." Deadpool moved to the cowering robot and growled "Start talking you worthless little shit." Claptrap stammered "H-h-h-he has a lab. Adorton Station. He's working on genetically engineered Jack clones."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive!"

Deadpool stood up and looked to the others. "Ready to go shut this freak down?" Deadpool bellowed. Everyone smiled and replied "Hell yeah!" The group jumped down and landed at the Catch-a-boat station. They walked around the village and started down the path towards the station.

They ran into a few scorpion looking creatures (Deadpool assumed these were scallions) but they were easy to kill. They moved towards the station and Deadpool got a chill down his spine. "This place gives me the creeps." Deadpool murmured. "I don't like this place either." Maya added. "Let's get moving." The group moved towards the station.

Once they reached the gates a group of savages with a witch doctor attacked them. Deadpool pulled out his Dual Pythons and was about to turn them into hamburger when each of them were shot in the head. He turned to see Domino with her pistols still smoking. "Can't let you have all the fun." She chuckled as she holstered her guns. Deadpool shrugged and they continued moving deeper into station.

"Domino and Zer0 are really cute together!" Crazy exclaimed. "They do seem right for one another." Sane admitted. Deadpool looked over his shoulder and saw the two of them walking hand in hand. Deadpool had to admit that the two seemed happy together, but he thought it was sad that Maya, who loved Zer0, had to see them every day. Deadpool sighed and thought "I wonder how Lilith is doing?"

"I'm sure she's fine, right now we have to worry about Nakyama."

Deadpool walked through a doorway that lead the group to an open area. "The tool has three stashes of Jack DNA hidden around the compound." Claptrap announced. "I'll mark them on your ECHOs." Deadpool looked at the ECHO device that Lilith gave him and he turned right. "I'll go for this one with Maya." Deadpool exclaimed. "Zer0 and Domino will go for the other one. Meet at the stairs and we'll get the third together." Everyone nodded and went for the DNA stashes.

Deadpool walked with Maya until they were attacked by scallions. Maya phase locked a big one while Deadpool shot it down. "How are you holding up?" Deadpool questioned while he sliced a scallion that jumped at him. "I'm doing fine." Maya replied as she shot an armored scallion with her caustic pistol. "These things aren't that tough."

"That's not what I mean."

The fighting stopped for a moment and Maya hung her head down. "I just wish I could stop." She sighed. "But I still love him. It makes me happy to see him happy, but I…"

"You want to be with him, making him happy."

"Yeah, but that isn't going to happen."

Deadpool put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. She shook her head and declared "Let's break this DNA and get out of here. I really don't like this place." She moved ahead with Deadpool chasing after her. They found a cage with a safe inside of it and a small Jack statue on the top of the safe. Deadpool opened the safe to find a container with a small picture of Jack.

The container exploded in a splash of acid. Deadpool saw Maya holster her pistol and proclaim "Had to deal with Jack once. I'm NOT doing it again." Deadpool shrugged as Nakyama proclaimed over the ECHO "Did someone just open one of my DNA safes? Hello? Anybody." Deadpool chuckled "Not much of a villain. Archlight and Vertigo are worse villains." Maya laughed "I don't know either of them, but they don't seem like much of a threat."

"They aren't. Only reason they were villains was because I blew the budget for my game."

"I have no clue what you're talking about."

"It's not important. I'm guessing you don't have Xbox or Playstation here do you?"

"Do we have what?"

"Again. Not important. Let's keep moving."

Him and Maya went to the stairs and sat, waiting for Domino and Zer0. They heard Nakyama shout "Wait! Wait! Wait! Have you thought about NOT foiling my plans to clone Handsome Jack? Just think of all the upsides! There's…um…yep… I got nothing." Deadpool couldn't help but bust out laughing "This guy is a HORRIBLE villain! He's more of a fanboy!" Maya couldn't help herself but start laughing as Domino and Zer0 walked over to them. "What's got you two laughing so hard?" Domino questioned.

"It's nothing. Let's go kill Jack's number one fan."

The group started moving into the large warehouse that held a large number of savages. Deadpool drew his swords and proclaimed "This is going to get messy." Crazy cheered "I LIKE messy! Let's go!" Deadpool followed his instincts and charged an unsuspecting savage warrior. He sliced the warrior in half and moved to the next one.

This one caught on and clashed blades with him. He slid his blades off and kicked the warrior in the shield. The savage stumbled back and a round hit him in the head. Deadpool just assumed that it was one of his friends and he continued cutting the savages apart. The savages started running back in terror as Deadpool roared "I WILL SWALLOW YOUR SOULS!"

He understood what one savage hunter shouted: Red Devil. "Seems fitting." Sane exclaimed. "We have been destroying their entire way of life." Deadpool saw Zer0 open the last safe and fire a revolver into it. "Now let's shut this place down for good." Domino cheered. The group moved outside to see the remaining savages at war with a large group of scallions.

Deadpool decided that the scallions would take care of the savages and moved towards the power core. They made it there with ease and Zer0 grabbed the lever. "Pull the lever Kronk!" Deadpool shouted. Deadpool looked at him with a blank helmet and pulled the level. The power whirred down and Deadpool shouted "WRONG LEVER!"

"Did you just shut down power to my lad?" Nakyama questioned. "No matter! I… uh, I already created my first Jack clone!" Deadpool felt the ground shake as he turned to the cage behind them. A very large borak with a Jack mask and a turret on his back broke free from the cage. "Well shit." Deadpool groaned as he pulled out his Dual Pythons. He started shooting the beast as it charged forward.

The bullets just seemed to bounce off of the beast's armored skin. Deadpool jumped forward and grabbed onto the turret. He spun it around and started yanking on it. "This thing has to break!" Deadpool grunted as he pulled on the turret. A round hit him in the shoulder and he barked "Watch where you're shooting! Are you trying to kill me? Cause that ain't going to happen!"

He finally turned the turret an odd direction and it broke off of the borak's back. "Stop doing that!" Nakyama cried. "I worked REALLY hard on this! Don't just ruin it!" Deadpool ignored him and started shooting the beast in the top of the head. The borak bucked back and threw Deadpool off. Deadpool landed and ran over to Zer0.

"Wanna go for blade storm?" Deadpool questioned. A ": )" popped onto Zer0's helmet as he proclaimed "Let's do it." The two of them charged forward with blades drawn. Zer0 struck first and sliced at the borak's mask. Deadpool struck twice on the beast's side as Zer0 ran along its back, slicing the beast apart. Deadpool dragged his blades along the beast's side as Zer0 jumped off the beast's back.

The beast bellowed in pain as Zer0 and Deadpool did a massive dash and sliced the beast in two at the center. The beast collapsed as Zer0 and Deadpool high fived each other. "Oh my god." Nakyama groaned. "You killed my project so easily." Hammerlock jumped on the ECHO and declared "Good work everyone! Now to deal with Nakyama himself!"

"Okay. I'm really scared right now. I still have my emergency stash of Handsome Jack's DNA on my ship. The only way you can stop me now, is to come and kill me… WAIT! WHY DID I JUST TELL YOU THAT!?"

"Come on man! Have some back bone for the Angel's sake. Throw some devious taunts at us or something!"

"What? No! They just killed some of my best guys! I'm scared out of my mind right now!"

Deadpool shook his head and thought "And I thought I had bad villains. This guy is the worst." Domino proclaimed "Let's get back to the lodge and finish this annoying guy off." Deadpool cheered "Let's go kick some ass!" The group moved on towards the exit, and towards finishing off Nakyama.

Again, sorry for taking so long for an update. Life has been getting very busy. I'll still try and update as much as possible.

-Chief


	11. Chapter 11: Final Hunt

Chapter 11: Final Hunt

Deadpool sharpened his swords to prepare for the final strike against Nakyama. He removed his goofy hunter items since he felt this was going to be a serious fight. Maya sat at the bar area while Zer0 and Domino sat outside. Hammerlock was cleaning off his sniper rifle and proclaimed "We finally found that annoying tool. He is over in Candlerakk Crag." Deadpool put his swords away and declared "Let's finish this."

"Indeed. Nakyama has been seriously annoying." Sane proclaimed. "Seriously!" Crazy added. "He annoys the living shit out of me!"

"And that's saying something."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means the same thing as before, you are very annoying."

Deadpool looked to Maya and nodded. She nodded in return and hopped off the bar stool. They went outside and found Domino and Zer0 cleaning their weapons off. "Are we ready?" Domino questioned as she holstered her pistols. Deadpool nodded and Zer0 slung his sniper rifle over his shoulder.

They spawned two fan boats and drove to the entrance to Candlerakk Crag. They walked out of the cave into the rain of the crag. "You're too late!" Nakyama proclaimed shakily. "I've already activated my weapon! You don't have to come after me!" Deadpool rolled his eyes and laughed "Worst. Bluff. Ever." Maya agreed "Really. I bet the guy sucks at poker."

"More than likely. I can't remember when the last time I played poker was."

"Regular or strip?" Crazy laughed. "I think we're referring to regular poker." Sane groaned.

"That's no fun! We should have Lilith play strip poker with us!"

"Why? We're in a relationship with her, we get to see her naked whenever we want."

"Again, no fun."

Deadpool snapped back into reality when Zer0 proclaimed "Focus. We need to get to Nakyama." Deadpool started walking forward and saw a small camp along the ledge. "How many shots is it going to take to take out the small camp over there?" Deadpool questioned. Zer0 walked up and pulled out the One Shot, exclaiming "Less than a clip." He raised his rifle and fired off one shot and blew the head off a Witch Doctor.

Deadpool ran forward towards the camp as Zer0 started sniping the remaining savages. By the time Deadpool got to the camp, Zer0 had killed all of the savages. Deadpool announced over the radio "Area clear. Moving forward." Deadpool pushed forward and moved along the ridge. "I have a very bad feeling about this." Sane grumbled.

Deadpool had to agree that something felt wrong, like there was a dark cloud hanging over them. He cleared the ridge to another small camp that was filled with savages. All of them had swords and gun raised, pointing at him. "So all of you think that you can take me?" Deadpool growled as he pulled out his Dual Pythons. "I think that all of you are going to die, but let's test that theory." He charged forward with his Dual Pythons blasting as he shouted "LEROOOOOOOOOOY! JENKIIIIIIIIIIINS!" A wall of bullets clashed against the savages as Deadpool slaughtered them.

He quickly put the rifles on his back and drew his swords. He sliced and hacked at the savages as they charged him. There was a savage hunter remaining and it threw a spear at him, nailing him in the shoulder. He simply walked forward as another spear hit him in the side. The hunter fell back as Deadpool walked up on him and tore the spears from his body.

"I think these are yours." Deadpool growled as he impaled the hunter with his own spears. The rest of the group ran up to him as he brushed himself off. "Did you have fun?" Domino chuckled. "A bit." Deadpool shrugged. "I hope Nakyama's project will be a little more though." He saw the group practically roll their eyes in unison.

They moved deeper through the crag and saw the Terminus, Nakyama's ship. "Almost done with this." Maya proclaimed. The group moved through another savage camp and came upon a rope bridge. "Release the…." Nakyama announced. "Please don't say Kraken. Please don't say Kraken." Deadpool pleaded in his head. "Please don't say Kraken."

"Elites!"

"Thank god." Deadpool sighed out loud. "I thought he was going to say Kraken." Maya questioned "What's a Kraken?"

"It's just… just…unimportant. Let's just… just keep going."

Badass savages wearing Jack masks ran across the bridge and charged them. Domino stepped forward and drew her pistols. One was almost on top of her until she shot the savage in the side and kicked it off the bridge. Another one charged but she put two into its head. A third nearly got her, but Zer0 blasted the savage's head off. There was one left and Maya phase locked it.

She threw the savage over the bridge, the savage screaming the whole way down as it plummeted through the misty veil. "Oh crap! Those were my best guys!" Nakyama panicked. "Oh crap! Crap! Crap! I am so screwed!" Deadpool shook his head and laughed "You definitely are, Nakyama. You definitely are." The group continued to move through the crag and savage camp after savage camp. The approached the door to the Terminus.

"Remember minion." Claptrap proclaimed over the ECHO. "The code for the door is 134." Deadpool growled as he turned the wheels for the doors "I am going to kill that annoying ass robot when we get back to Sanctuary." As the door to the ship opened, Nakyama cried "No! This isn't fair! My weapon isn't ready yet! This isn't fair! This isn't fair!" The group walked into the ship to find it was a total dump. "How could this guy create a weapon from this scrap heap?" Deadpool questioned.

"Probably a part of the ship that is still intact." Sane pointed out. "Or he's a wizard!" Crazy added.

"Highly unlikely."

"No. Fun."

Zer0 took the lead and opened an air vent. The group crawled through and dropped into a large area of the ship. A door at the other end of the room shook and then bursted open. A large, bullymong-like creature with a pair of robotic arms and two generators on its back emerged from the dust. Deadpool noticed the plate on its chest that opened to reveal a Jack mask bathed in a blue light.

"Here we go." Deadpool exclaimed as her drew his Dual Pythons. Everyone started shooting at Jackenstien as it charged them. Their shots didn't seem to effect the creature as it jumped at them. Everyone jumped aside as the creature crashed down. Jackenstien swung at Deadpool and sent him flying.

He slammed against the wall and immediately shot up. Jackenstien turned on his companions and tried to crush them.

_Aim for the generators on its back._

"Narrator! Where have you been? It's been a while."

_I know, I've been busy._

"You should schedule your life out. It really helps."

_Not exactly going to take advice from a guy in a skin tight jumpsuit, but alright. Isn't there something you should be doing right now?_

"They can handle it. They're big kids. I just want to talk since we haven't in a while. How's life treating you?"

_I'm not going to discuss my life with a fictional character._

"It'll make you feel better."

_You know what would make me feel better? You actually helping your friends since they aren't doing so well right now._

Deadpool looked to Jackenstien, who was tossing his friends around like rag dolls. "Holy shit!" Deadpool gasped. "I should help them! Talk to you later Narrator!" Deadpool charged Jackenstien and jumped onto his back. Deadpool stabbed his swords into the beast's back and pulled out one of his Pythons. He started putting rounds into one of the generators until it exploded.

Jackenstien bucked back in pain when the generator exploded. Deadpool hung onto his sword as Jackenstien tried to throw him off. Deadpool raised his rifle and started shooting the other generator. It exploded and Jackenstien kicked harder, throwing Deadpool off. He rolled and drew his other Python as he recovered.

"I'm guessing we aim for the chest." Zer0 proclaimed. "Sounds like a plan." Deadpool agreed. Jackenstien roared and displayed his Jack-plated chest. Everyone jumped aside as plasma blasted covered the area where they were standing. Deadpool put a few rounds into the Jack mask as he jumped back up.

Jackenstien ran aside and grabbed one of the crates. He threw it at Deadpool, slamming him against a wall. "Well this sucks." Deadpool groaned as he shimmied his way out of the pinch he was in. He was able to get out and saw his friends shooting at Jackenstien. He saw Zer0 go into Deception and probably go for the kill.

Jackenstien slammed the ground and sent Zer0 flying. The beast seemed to think Zer0 was the biggest threat and charged Zer0. Deadpool tried to get free, but noticed Maya charge Jackenstien. She grabbed Zer0's sword from the ground and put herself in between Zer0 and Jackenstien. As Jackenstien was about to smash them, Maya took Zer0's sword and drove it into the Jack mask.

Jackenstien stumbled back as sparks erupted from its chest. The chest exploded in a shower of sparks and the beast fell back. Deadpool was able to get free and saw Domino wrap her arms around Zer0. She let him go and went to Maya, thanking her "Thank you so much." Maya smiled and replied "You don't have to thank me. He's my friend and you would have done the same in my position."

Domino smiled and returned to hugging Zer0. Deadpool clapped Maya on the back and announced "That. Was. AWESOME! You were just like 'bring it mother fucker! I have a sword!' and was like BAM! You dead mother fucker!" Maya smiled and started laughing "You are one of the goofiest people I have ever met."

"One of? I'm not the goofiest? Looks like I'm going to have to step my game up. But that's later. NOW, we have to take care of Nakyama."

Zer0 jumped onto Jackenstien's corpse and pulled his sword out. He then jumped out of view and announced "Looks like this creep dropped something!" He walked around holding a strange looking SMG. "Yellow Jacket." He explained. "Hyperion E-tech SMG." He walked over to Maya and held it out for her.

"You deserve it." Deadpool agreed as he pushed Maya towards Zer0. She placed her hands on the SMG (Deadpool noticed her hand was on Zer0's, but not where Domino could see) and replied "Thanks Zer0."

"No. Thank you, for saving me."

Deadpool ruined the moment by announcing "Time to kill Nakyama!" The group moved to the end of the room and a door over their heads opened up. A man who looked like he hadn't bathed walked out of the room. His white lab coat had stains on it and a small turret poked over his shoulder. His beard-mustache combo looked greasy and his eyes looked wild.

"Okay." He announced. "I am scared out of my mind right now. You may be a walking apocalypse, Vault Hunters, but I still might be able to defeat you. I still have my brain, and my guns, and this ship! I might have a chance! Whoa!" Nakyama fell backwards towards them as a set of holo-stairs appeared. He crashed against every step and landed at their feet, dead as a doornail. "He died, falling down the stair." Deadpool pointed out. "Officially the worst villain ever." Zer0 shrugged and exclaimed "Easy job, now let's see what he has in his lab."

"I'm going first!" Deadpool shouted as he ran up the steps. Everyone followed him into the lab and saw a glass door that lead to a room filled with chests. Deadpool pressed his face to the glass and gasped "How do you think we get inside?" A cold voice growled "You don't." He heard a clinking noise and looked at his feet to see a flash bang grenade roll towards him.

The grenade went off and blinded him and his friends. He felt someone grab him and throw him against the tool Nakyama used to inject Jack DNA into the bullymong. He heard fighting occur and Deadpool slowly regained his sight. He saw Maya lying face down on the ground and Deathstroke holding Domino up by her throat. Zer0 was pinned by Deathstroke's boot on his throat.

"You and your little group are so predictable." Deathstroke growled with a twisted joy. "I knew you'd be coming for Nakyama. All I had to do was wait." Zer0 choked "So now you're just going to kill us?"

"That would be too easy and no real fun. You have escaped me two too many times. I need to you pay for that and just putting a bullet in your head isn't going to cut it."

"So what then?"

"I'm going to be in Opportunity, and I'm taking your girlfriend here with me. She may not be a contract, but I'm not opposed to a little, collateral damage. I'll be seeing you real soon. Goodnight, Zer0."

Deathstroke raised his foot and stomped on Zer0's head, knocking him unconscious. Deathstroke lowered Domino as she passed out and walked over to Deadpool. "You are going to stay away from Opportunity." He ordered. "If you do, I kill Domino on the spot." Deadpool coughed "Why are you doing this?"

"Because it's my job. Killing whoever needs to be killed. Unlike you, I can actually get a job done without screwing it up."

"Really? Because I still see one contract lying on the ground."

Deathstroke pulled out a pistol and shot Maya in the shoulder. "Anymore smart remarks?" He growled. "I'm good." Deadpool sighed.

"Good. So long, Wade."

Deathstroke put his pistol to Deadpool's forehead and pulled the trigger.


	12. Chapter 12: Preparations

A little warning, this isn't going to be a normal, funny chapter that we normally see. This is a little more serious chapter since Deathstroke kidnapped Domino.

Chapter 12: Preparations

Deadpool woke up in Lilith's bedroom in Sanctuary. He sat up and rubbed his forehead to feel skin. He looked at his hand to see his hand. "Where is my suit?" He questioned out loud as he looked around the room. He saw his suit, mask and weapons sitting on a dresser.

He got out of bed and went to his stuff, trying to figure out how he got back to Sanctuary. "Glad to see you're finally awake." He heard Lilith proclaim. He turned to the door to see her leaning in the doorway. "Yeah, I'm awake." He sighed as he put his mask on. Lilith walked over to him, lifted his mask and kissed him.

"I'm glad that you're okay." Lilith proclaimed as she wrapped him in a hug. "I can never die." Deadpool reminded as he hugged her back. "I'll always be okay."

"I know. It's just… I've haven't had the best of luck with my last relationship."

"I know about Roland, and that Handsome Jack killed him."

Lilith placed her forehead on his chest and he stroked her hair. "I'm sorry to put all this heavy stuff on you Deadpool." Lilith apologized as she took a step back from him. "I think we've reached a special point in our relationship where you can call me Wade." Deadpool exclaimed as he put his suit on. She smiled and replied "Sure thing, Wade." He put his belt and sword carrier on and asked "How did I get back here?"

"Zer0 was the first to regain consciousness and was able to get help. He grabbed Hammerlock and brought you and Maya back here. I basically had a heart attack when I saw you with a bullet wound in your head, but Zer0 told me to calm down."

"It's sweet that you were worried about me, but how's Zer0 holding up?"

Lilith ran her fingers through her hair and sighed "Not good." Deadpool raised an eyebrow and asked "How 'not good'?"

"Come see for yourself."

Deadpool followed Lilith downstairs to the second floor to see Zer0 sitting at the table. His visor was dark but Deadpool could tell that he had a dark, thinking look on his face. "How are you holding up Zer0?" Deadpool questioned. "I am going to kill Deathstroke." Zer0 growled. "I am going to make him suffer."

"That's… cool. Can you give me a minute?"

"He took Lilith's hand and went down to the first floor. "He seriously needs some help." Deadpool hissed. "You don't think I know that Wade?" Lilith hissed back. "He's been sitting like that since he brought you and Maya back four hours ago!"

"And he's just sat there like that? For four hours? And you didn't think about talking to him?"

"Of course I tried to talk to him! He just says that he's going to kill Deathstroke!"

Deadpool brought his hand to his face and pulled down. He sighed "He needs closer. Zer0 is going to have to go after Deathstroke." Lilith questioned "Do you really think that's the best idea?"

"It's our ONLY idea. I can't help him and I doubt that anyone else will be able to either."

"What makes you say that? We could get everyone to go after Deathstroke."

"No. Deathstroke said that if I set foot in Opportunity, Domino is as good as dead."

Lilith went wide eyed and brought her hand to her forehead. "What are we going to do?" She sighed. "Has Maya talked to Zer0 yet? Deadpool questioned.

"No. I haven't seen her since he brought her back. Do you think she could talk to him?"

"I don't know, but it's worth a shot."

Lilith nodded and took his hand, exclaiming "This is going to be a very difficult time and we need to be there for our friends." Deadpool looked her in the eyes and smiled, responding "We will, and right now we need to help Zer0 get ready for his fight with Deathstroke."

o00000O00000o

Maya rubbed her bandaged shoulder as she started at herself in her bathroom mirror. "All he does is cause suffering and pain." She thought as she walked out. "Deathstroke is a monster. He needs to die." She grabbed a glass and filled it with water as she wondered about how Zer0 was handling everything. First Deathstroke murdered Zer0's fiancé and tried to kill him, then used Maya as bait and nearly killed him again, and now Deathstroke was going to try and kill Zer0 again using Domino as bait.

Maya wanted to go to Zer0 and talk to him, but she doubted that she could say anything that could help him. Maya sighed "He'll be better after he rescues Domino and kills Deathstroke." She heard a knock at the door and opened it to find Lilith and Deadpool. "What's up?" Maya questioned. "We need you to talk to Zer0." Lilith stated.

"Why me? Can't Deadpool talk to him? You two have worked together for years."

"Because you're special to him." Deadpool replied. "He'll listen to you more than anyone else on this planet." Maya had never heard Deadpool be so serious since she met him.

"Alright, I'll talk to him. Where's he at?"

"At the HQ, second floor."

Maya nodded and walked out of her home towards the HQ. "Why does it have to be me?" She thought as she stopped at the front door. "Sure, I guess I'm special to Zer0, but what makes them think he'll listen to me?" She took a breath and went to the second floor. Zer0 was sitting with his back to the balcony with his arms crossed and a blank helmet. "Zer0?" Maya questioned after a minute to see if he was asleep or not.

He looked up at her, then back down at the table. She walked over to him and asked "How are you doing?" He grumbled "Deathstroke has taken almost every good thing I've had in my life. I'm going to kill him."

"Understandable. He is a monster. We'll get him, and save Domino."

Zer0 didn't say anything else, just sat and stared at the holo table. "Do you want to talk about anything?" She questioned to break the silence. "No. I need to focus on killing Deathstroke." He growled.

"And saving Domino, right?"

Zer0 went quiet again and continued to stare. Maya felt a weird rage build up in her and she felt her body move without thought. She slapped Zer0 across the helmet and knocked him form the chair. "Get off revenge for one damn minute!" She barked at him as he stood up. "Domino is in trouble and you have to save her! She is more important than this damn grudge you have against Deathstroke!" Zer0 moved towards her and was inches from Maya.

"He's going to kill me for slapping him." Maya thought as he looked down on her. He took his helmet off and let it fall to the ground. He grabbed her face and pressed his lips to hers. Maya was honestly shocked that he was kissing her right now. There was so much passion in the kiss and Maya couldn't help herself as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Maya knew that her kissing Zer0 was wrong and that she was betraying Domino's trust, but she didn't care. They separated and Maya practically blurted "We shouldn't have done that." Ze0 sighed and replied "I know, but it was going to happen eventually." Maya raised an eyebrow and questioned "What do you mean it was going to happen eventually?"

"Because I love you Maya. I… I always did, even after you broke up with me, I still loved you."

Maya was in shock that he just confessed that he loved her, even though he was with Domino. She opened her mouth, but wasn't able to muster any words. "I thought you didn't feel the same way about me after you dumped, so I started dating Domino." Zer0 explained. "Then why did you continue dating Domino after you came back if you love me?" Maya questioned.

"Because I didn't think it wouldn't have been right for me to basically toss Domino aside and go back to you. I do like Domino, I like her a lot, but I love you, Maya."

Maya wasn't sure what to feel right now, except for confusion. Zer0 dropped his head and groaned "I just seriously fucked up." He ran his fingers through his hair and groaned "Let's just pretend this didn't happen." Maya grabbed his shoulders and planted another kiss on his lips. She separated from him and exclaimed "I don't want to pretend this didn't happen. I WANTED this to happen. Not on these terms, but I want to be with you."

He smiled and replied "Okay, but I think this is going to bite us in the butt when I save Domino." Maya sighed "I bet. I'm going to tell Lilith and Deadpool that you're going to be fine." She heard Lilith proclaim "We already know." They looked to the door way to see Deadpool's and Lilith's heads poking through the doorway. "How much did you two hear?" Zer0 questioned as he put his helmet back on.

"Enough." Deadpool replied as he walked into the room with Lilith behind him. "Are you ready to go after Deathstroke?"

"I think I am, I'm just a little worried about Domino though."

Deadpool nodded and took his Dual Pythons off of his back, placing them on the table. "Take these." Deadpool proclaimed. "You're going to need them more than I will." Zer0 nodded and put them on his back. Maya took out her fire SMG and handed it to Zer0. "You should take this too." Maya exclaimed as he took the gun. "Never know when you need a little more… fire power."

Zer0 chuckled at the joke as Lilith handed him a shield. "Flame of the Firehawk." Lilith announced. "Great shield. Should do a bit of good for you." Zer0 placed the shield on his hip and replied "Thank you all. I'm going to head to my place and go after Deathstroke and Domino tomorrow." He walked out and Deadpool turned to Maya with a smile under his mask. "What's got a smile on your face?" Maya questioned.

"I'm guessing today is a good day for you since you and Zer0 are back together, sort of."

Maya felt her face turn red and stammered "You… you heard… everything?"

"And saw everything. You trying to talk to Zer0, you slapping Zer0, you kissing Zer0… twice."

She brushed her hair behind her head and exclaimed "I'm going to leave now." She walked out, thankful that the awkward moment was over. She was going to go back to her place, but stopped in front of Peirce Station. She took a deep breath and went to Zer0's home. She knocked on the door and waited for a moment.

The door didn't open so she tried it and the door was unlocked. She walked in and looked around to find the first floor empty. She went upstairs and nearly ran into Zer0. "What are you doing here?" Zer0 questioned. He was wearing a pair of sweat pants and rubbed his head with a towel.

Maya simply stared at his chest with her mouth agape until Zer0 nearly shouted "Maya!" She snapped back into reality and responded "I wanted to be with you before you go." He shrugged and exclaimed "I guess that'd be okay." She practically shoved him onto his bed and crawled in with him. She laid down on top of him with her head on his chest.

"I really don't think we should be doing this." Zer0 stammered. She looked at him and rested her chin on his chest. "Why not?" She questioned. "I thought you loved me?"

"I do love Maya, but I'm still with Domino. I felt like I'm betraying her."

"Do you want me to leave?"

He laid his head back and sighed "No. I don't."

"Can I ask why you decided to tell me you love me now?"

"After you saved me from Jackenstien, I just couldn't stop myself from giving into my love for you. Then when you brought me back to reality, I just gave into my feelings for you."

Maya wrapped her arms around Zer0 and pulled him close. She felt his arms wrap around her as he whispered "Goodnight Maya."

"Goodnight Zer0."


	13. Chapter 13: Deathstroke

All of y'all have been really quiet about this story. I figured that I would have been getting messages or reviews out the ass since I've been updating so often. Chapters will continue regardless.

Chapter 13: Deathstroke

Zer0 woke up and rolled to his side to see Maya with her back to him. He silently slid out of bed and slid his gear on. He put his weapons on his back and side and held his helmet in his hands. He looked back at Maya asleep in his bed and thought "This is for her, for Domino, and for his friends." He slid his helmet on and walked out of his home.

He walked towards the fast-travel and stopped at the station to collect his thoughts. "You getting ready to finish this?" He heard Deadpool question. He looked over at him to see him walking over to him. "Just about ready." Zer0 sighed.

"You can beat him Zer0. He has yet to kill you."

"I know I can beat him. I'll be back soon."

Zer0 opened the fast-travel station and travelled to Opportunity. Zer0 dropped down and shot up, ready for something to jump him. There was no one around, the city seemed dead. Zer0 moved into the city and looked around for any sign of Deathstroke or Domino. Over the city intercom Zer0 heard Deathstroke order "Come to the Waterfront District."

Zer0 moved to the District and saw Deathstroke waiting at the end of the long roadway. Zer0 walked halfway down before he realized that Deathstroke wasn't alone. Zer0 only knew the man from the ECHO recording that scattered Pandora, Hyperion's acting director Blake. "You came all this way for nothing, assassin." Blake mocked. Zer0 heard footsteps and looked back to see a group of soldiers lining up behind him.

"I always figured you'd cheat to finally kill me Deathstroke." Zer0 prodded. Deathstroke reached behind him and pulled out two SMGs. He raised them up and began railing rounds towards Zer0. Zer0 was prepared to dodge the shots, but they were nowhere near him. Zer0 looked back to see that every soldier had been shot dead.

Zer0 looked to Deathstroke, who was being hollered at by Blake. "How could you do that?!" Blake yelled. "He was set up perfectly to be executed! Why would you do that?" Deathstroke put his SMGs away and pulled out a pistol. He put it to Blake's forehead and blasted his brains out. "This is a fight between you and me, Zer0." Deathstroke growled as he drew his sword. "I will finish you off myself."

Zer0 drew his sword and replied "I'm not dying by your hands, Deathstroke. You've tried and failed many times."

"Third time's the charm."

Deathstroke charged forward and Zer0 charged to meet him. They clashed blades and were practically face to face. They bounced back and began swinging at each other. They clashed blades over and over until they bounced back again. Zer0 charged and swung for Deathstroke's side.

He blocked the blade and threw a punch at Zer0. Zer0 ducked down and tried to sweep Deathstroke with a kick. Deathstroke jumped and brought his blade down at Zer0. Zer0 rolled to the side and prepared for Deathstroke to charge again. Deathstroke held his ground and blade at the ready.

They both began to circle each other, waiting for the other to make their move. Deathstroke swung first and charged Zer0. Zer0 blocked the blow, but felt himself slide back. Deathstroke began to swing unrelenting blows at Zer0, causing him to move back further and further into the city. Zer0 was able to block all of Deathstroke's blows, but he felt himself getting tired.

"I can't keep this up." Zer0 thought as he dodged one swing. "Deathstroke's strong. I need to move." Zer0 threw out his hologram and shot off to the side. Deathstroke swung through the hologram and pulled out an SMG. He began firing it wildly to try and hit Zer0, knocking him out of Deception. Zer0 was able to get away and hid behind a building.

Zer0 slumped against the wall of the building and tried to catch his breath. Zer0 stopped for a moment and listened, hearing nothing but silence. He immediately ducked when he heard the sound of a blade swinging through the air. Deathstroke's blade slammed into the wall where Zer0's head was sitting. "Cute trick." Deathstroke proclaimed as he pulled his blade out of the wall. "Too bad I'm one of the best assassins there is. No one escapes me."

"You're looking at the one that got away."

"And soon it will just be your head and a story."

Deathstroke swung at Zer0, but Zer0 blocked the swing and started taking the offensive. Zer0 slashed and swung at the dark assassin with all of his hatred and rage. Zer0 was like lightning with the speed of his blade, but Deathstroke was just as fast and blocked every swing. Zer0 pulled off a heavy swing and sent Deathstroke sliding back on his heels. Deathstroke quickly sheathed his sword and pulled out his SMGs.

Zer0 ran to the side as Deathstroke unloaded the clips at him. Zer0 jumped behind a barrier and pulled out the Dual Pythons. He jumped out from behind cover and started unloading his weapons towards Deathstroke. He started running as he unloaded his SMGs at Zer0, who also began to run. The two were running parallel as they shot at each other with no hits.

Zer0 jumped behind a pillar and quickly reloaded his weapons since he was sure Deathstroke was doing the same. "It seems that we are at an impasse." Deathstroke announced. "Neither one of us making any ground on the other." Zer0 replied "You'll wear down eventually Deathstroke and I'll be there when you do."

"I think not."

Zer0 heard a clinking sound and saw a grenade roll at his feet. Zer0 quickly ran away while the grenade exploded and Deathstroke started shooting at him. Zer0 threw his own grenade and Deathstroke jumped up the pillar. He ran along the slanted rooftops and Zer0 continued to fire at him. Glass shattered as the bullets struck the glass, but not Deathstroke.

The instant Zer0's weapons required a reload, Deathstroke jumped off the rooftop with his sword brandished. Zer0 didn't have enough time to switch to his sword, so he used the Dual Pythons to block the blade. The weapons blocked the sword to an extent and the sword cut into the weapons. Zer0 dropped the weapons and drew his sword, preparing for Deathstroke's blows. Deathstroke charged forward and began slashing at them.

The two clashed blades until they were in the Hall of History with the statue of Jack still on the ground. Zer0 continued to move back until his black landed against the base of the statue. Deathstroke growled as he swung "The Hall of History. Fitting since I will be making it by killing one of the most renowned assassins in the universe." Zer0 ducked under a swing and landed a punch at Deathstroke's stomach. Once Deathstroke buckled, Zer0 delivered and uppercut.

Deathstroke stumbled back and Zer0 swung for Deathstroke's side. He blocked the sing and laughed "Good. I was hoping for a good fight." Zer0 replied "You'll get a fight alright." Zer0 swung again and again, forcing Deathstroke back until his back hit one of the panels. Zer0 stabbed his blade, aiming for Deathstroke's chest. Deathstroke jumped to the side and Zer0's blade plunged into the panel.

Zer0 ducked as Deathstroke's blade swung for his neck and he rolled back. Zer0 pulled out Maya's SMG and started shooting at Deathstroke. Zer0 moved to the side until he reached his blade. Zer0 quickly grabbed his blade and yanked it out of the panel. The two charged each other, intent on drawing blood.

Zer0 quickly used Deception and ducked underneath Deathstroke's swing, slicing his side. Zer0 spun and saw Deathstroke fall to the ground with a trail of blood following. Zer0 walked over to the wounded assassin and kicked his blade away as he reached for it. He flipped Deathstroke onto his back and used the flat of his blade to knock the pistol from his hand. "It's finally come to this." Deathstroke coughed as Zer0 brought his blade to his neck. "The predator has become the prey."

Zer0 brought the blade closer and growled "Domino. Where is she?"

"Hyperion office, top floor. Door code 6375. She's fine, now finish it."

Zer0 raised his blade, preparing to slice the monster's head off. This man single handedly destroyed everything that Zer0 held dear, and now he could exact his revenge. "What are you waiting for?!" Deathstroke shouted. "Do it!" Zer0 brought his blade down, but sliced the ground near Deathstroke's throat. "Why? Why spare my life?" Deathstroke questioned.

"Because I'm not a monster like you." Zer0 replied. "You get to live your life knowing that the man you once hunted nearly killed you and is now out there. Somewhere in the world, watching, waiting, ready to kill you. Come near me or my friends ever again and I will show no mercy." Zer0 yanked his blade from the ground and started making his way towards the main Hyperion office near the front of the city. He kept his blade ready and listened for Deathstroke to try and shoot Zer0 while he had his back turned. The shot never came so Zer0 assumed the Deathstroke wouldn't shoot him in the back or he was too busy bleeding to death. Zer0 entered the office building and rode the elevator to the top floor.

The doors opened and Zer0 saw Domino bound and gagged to the chair behind the desk. He ran over to her and pulled the gag from her mouth. "You came for me!" She cheered with tears in her eyes. "Of course I did." Zer0 replied. "I never leave someone behind."

"Zer0, I've wanted to tell you something for a while now."

"Hold onto that thought until we get back to Sanctuary."

He cut her bindings and she threw her arms around him. "I love you Zer0." She whispered in his ear. He wrapped his arms around her and proclaimed "Let's get going. I doubt Deathstroke is going to just let us walk out of here."

"You let him live?! Why?"

"Because I realized that if I killed him, I would be no better than he is. I couldn't bring myself to kill him, to stoop down to his level. I let him live for that reason."

Domino looked at him with concern and replied "You should have killed him." Zer0 shrugged and started for the elevator with Domino behind him. He exited the building and looked towards the hall of history. He saw the silhouette of the assassin that he spared standing at the opening. Zer0 stared at the silhouette until it turned around and walked into the night.

Domino questioned "Is something wrong?" Zer0 took a deep breath and exclaimed "We need to talk."

There you have it! Zer0's epic duel with Deathstroke. I thought it was pretty good, but I'd like to know what all of you think. Review or message any thoughts, comments, concerns, bitches, gripes or complaints. One more chapter after this and Two Assassins will reach its close.

-Chief


	14. Chapter 14: Epilogue

So this is going to be the last chapter for Two Assassins, but I will not stop working on my other fan fics.

Chapter 13: Epilogue

Deadpool waited with the Vault Hunters on the second floor of the HQ for Zer0 to return. "We should go help him!" Gaige blurted as she shot up from her seat. "Settle down Gaige." Lilith exclaimed. "Zer0 can handle himself. He'll be back soon."

"I know. I just want to help him out."

Maya replied "Like Lilith said, Zer0 can handle himself." Deadpool looked around the room to see the worry in their faces. He took a deep breath and sighed as everyone seemed to move around in discomfort. "What did I miss?" He heard Zer0 question. He looked to the balcony to see Zer0 leaning in the doorway.

"Zer0!" Maya cheered as she wrapped him in a hug. Everyone went over to him and either slapped him on the back or hugged him. Deadpool shook Zer0's hand and exclaimed "Good to see you in one piece." Zer0 replied "Good to be in one piece."

"So I'm guessing that Deathstroke is?"

"He's been taken care of."

Deadpool noticed Maya was looking around and she questioned "Where's Domino? Were… were you able to save her?"

"I saved her, but I also told her about you and me."

"And?"

"She didn't take the news too well. She said that she needed some time to herself before she even thought talking to me again."

Deadpool sighed and proclaimed "At least she's safe." Lilith announced "Now that we know that everyone is safe and we won't be seeing Deathstroke again, we should celebrate! Party at Moxxi's!"

"I LIKE the sound of that!"

Sane proclaimed "That sounds like the best idea I've heard since we got here." Crazy added "Yeah! Let's party!" Deadpool put his arm around Lilith and walked with her to Moxxi's. There they drank and celebrated and listened to Zer0 tell his tale of conquest. "Then when he hit the ground I put my blade to his throat." Zer0 recounted as he stood on the bar.

His helmet was lying on the ground since he began drinking. "Then what happened?" A very drunk Axton questioned. Zer0's look went a little somber and he replied "I did what needed to be done." Everyone cheered as Zer0 hopped off the bar. Deadpool noticed that Zer0 looked a little, different, but he just assumed it was because he was drunk.

He looked over at Lilith and she gestured for him to come over to her. He stumbled over to her and she was practically leaning on him. "Hey there Wade." Lilith slurred. "Enjoying the party?" Deadpool wrapped her in a hug and laughed "One of the best parties I've ever been to." Sane pointed out "That's because we don't get invited to parties."

Crazy chuckled "That's cause we party too hard!"

"If that's the way you want to look at it then sure."

Deadpool snapped back into reality when Lilith pulled him down to her level and whispered in his ear "How about you and me get out of here?" Deadpool raised an eyebrow and replied "Where would you rather go?"

"How about my place?"

"I like the sound of that."

Lilith took his hand and drunkenly led him back to the HQ. They stumbled their way upstairs and fell down onto Lilith's bed. It started with them making out until Lilith sat up and threw her jacket off. "I like where this is going." Deadpool proclaimed as he ran his hands on her sides. She laid back down on top of him and started kissing him again.

Her hand slid down and started fiddling with his belt. He was enjoying this time he was having with Lilith, but something felt… weird. "Lilith wait." He proclaimed as he grabbed her hand. "What's wrong?" She slurred in question.

"I'm just not feeling like sex tonight."

"Why? Did I do something wrong?"

"No! No. I… I just feel like cuddling right now."

She looked a little disappointed, but he was sure that was just the booze. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to his chest. She took a deep breath and sighed "This is nice." She wrapped her arms around him and they simply laid together.

o00000O00000o

Maya stumbled out of the bar with her arms wrapped around Zer0's waist. She was incredibly happy that he made it out alive and even happier he was finally hers. They were starting to make their way towards his place when an idea popped into her head. "Hey Zer0." Maya slurred. He looked down at her with a smile and replied "Yes my love?"

"Why don't you come meet me at my place in about… ten minutes?"

"Sure thing dear. I'm just going to go to my place for a few minutes until then."

Zer0 stumbled towards his house while Maya went to hers next to Moxxi's. She was almost to the door when she noticed someone leaning against it. She took a few more steps forward and she saw that it was Domino. "Maybe she hasn't seen me yet." Maya thought as she turned around. "I see you Maya." Domino exclaimed.

Maya could tell by the tone in her voice that she wasn't exactly a happy camper. Maya took a deep breath and went over to Domino. "Hey there Domino." Maya replied, trying to act casual. "How have you been?"

"Before or after you stole my boyfriend from me."

"Shit." Maya cursed in her head. "I'm sorry about that." Maya apologized. Domino rolled her eyes and exclaimed "I highly doubt that you are sorry about that."

"You're right, I'm not really that sorry."

"That makes me feel sooo much better."

"I really am sorry about betraying your trust Domino. I really am."

"That I believe. Can I just ask why you decided to wait for me to be kidnapped to make a move on Zer0?"

"I didn't make the first move, Zer0 did. I snapped him out of a trance he was in and he just kissed me and told me that he loved me."

"I figured this would happen eventually."

"You knew Zer0 and I would get back together?"

"Yes. I figured that he would go back to you after I saw how he looked at you. I could just feel the love he had for you and I just tried to fight it, but I knew it would have to end sometime. I just thought he would break up with me first, not cheat on me."

"Again, sorry about that."

"It's… its whatever. Just promise me that you won't let anything happen to him."

"I promise."

"Alright. I'm going to get out of here. I'll be back, but not for a while. I just need to clear my head."

"Okay. Stay in touch."

Domino nodded and walked to the fast-travel station. Maya entered her home and stumbled up the stairs. She walked into her room and started preparing a surprise for Zer0.

o00000O00000o

Zer0 made it to his house relatively okay since he bumped into a few walls… and trash cans… and light posts. He was seriously hammered since he felt weird about lying to everyone about him killing Deathstroke. Zer0 leaned on the door and found it unlocked. "I thought I locked this door." Zer0 grumbled as he walked into his home. The room was dark until a light flicked on and revealed a man Zer0 never wanted to see again sitting in a chair.

Deathstroke held a pistol and pointed it at Zer0. "Welcome back." Deathstroke growled. "Have a seat. Stay a while." He gestured to the chair across from him with his pistol and Zer0 followed. "Care for a drink?" Deathstroke offered as he poured two shot glasses with what Zer0 assumed was scotch. Zer0 grabbed the glass and took a whiff of it to see if it was poisoned or not. "Checking for poison?" Deathstroke questioned. "Do you believe I would stoop that low?" Zer0 replied easily "Yes. I really do."

"Zer0, I'm hurt that you would think I'd stoop to Copperhead's level."

Zer0 took a chance and threw the shot back. He waited for a moment to see if the poison was fast acting, but nothing happened. "Good scotch isn't it?" Deathstroke asked as he held his glass. "One of my favorites."

"What are you doing here? I thought I made myself very clear."

"You did… and it made me think. How this man… this one man could avoid me for years after I nearly killed him survive a sword to the chest and then defeat me in combat. How the FUCK do you evade my blade?"

"Skill I guess. Old age catching up to you old man?"

Zer0 knew he shouldn't have said that to the man who had a gun pointed at him, but he was drunk. Deathstroke chuckled and replied "Not quite Zer0, but I believe there is something more for us."

"Us? What us?"

"I believe that this is destiny's way of saying we should kill each other, but work WITH each other."

"Us working together?"

"Indeed. Can you not see the opportunity? Two of the galaxy's greatest assassins working together. No one could stop us."

Zer0 thought about what Deathstroke had offered. "How could he expect me to with him?" Zer0 thought. "He has nearly killed me multiple times but now he wants me to work with him? It's either this or we go back to trying to kill each other." Zer0 sighed and replied "What did you have in mind?" Deathstroke answered as he holstered his pistol "We go out on contracts together. Kill targets and complete missions. Split the profit 50/50, what do you say, partner?" Deathstroke extended his hand and Zer0 shook it.

"Excellent. I will begin searching for jobs for us and I would suggest saying nothing to your companions. Unless you want them to know that you didn't actually kill me."

"Right. Just contact me as secretly as possible."

"I will. Isn't there something you should be doing right now?"

Zer0 realized that he should be getting to Maya's and he asked "How do you know that?"

"I didn't. I guessed. I will remain here until later when I may leave unseen. See you soon, partner."

Zer0 walked out of his place and tried to rack his brain to figure out what just happened. "I just became partners with Deathstroke?" Zer0 groaned as he walked to Maya's. "Looks like I'm done drinking." He got to Maya's door and found a note reading "Come upstairs". He did what the note said and went upstairs to a door that read "I'm waiting". He slowly opened the door to see that it was a door to Maya's room.

There were candles lit everywhere to provide a sort of mood lighting. He looked to the bed to see Maya laying across the bed in her underwear and giving him a very seductive look. She raised a finger and gestured for him to come closer to her. He immediately unzipped the top part of his suit and dropped it. He started undoing his belt while he moved towards the bed.

Maya sat up on the bed and started undoing his pants as he slid his belt off. She dropped his pants and he climbed into the bed with her. He positioned himself over her and stared into her eyes. "I love you Maya." He whispered to her as she wrapped her arms around him. "I love you too Zer0." She replied as she pulled him into a kiss.

There you have it people! The conclusion of Two Assassins! Deadpool and Lilith are together, Zer0 and Deathstroke are partners, and Maya and Zer0 are back together. I'm thinking about writing a sequel but I'm 100% on what the storyline could be. Any ideas would be appreciated.

-Chief


	15. Chapter 15: Not a Chapter

This isn't an actual chapter, so sorry if any of you had your hopes up. I just wanted to run a few ideas by everyone to see what might be in the sequel.

Idea 1: Deathstroke and Zer0 head to the Badass Crater of Badassitude on a contract to kill Piston and end up having to enter the tournament. Deadpool and Maya follow Zer0 to see why he was being so secretive lately. Mainly follows the Campaign of Carnage DLC with a few twists.

Idea 2: Deadpool starts playing Bunkers and Badasses with Brick, Mordecai, Lilith and Tina. Basically just Deadpool's reaction to the nerdy game and his personality throughout it. Mainly follows Dragon Keep DLC with bonus end chapters of the side missions.

Anything anyone wants to see just hmu (Hit Me Up for those who didn't know like me, I found out what it meant a week ago :/) with a message or review. Ideas are also helpful.


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